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In some countries, at secondary at high school, there may be two or three streams of studies, academic or vocational. What are the advantages of this to the students and the society of putting students at the two streams at the age of 15? v.1

In some countries, at secondary at high school, there may be two or three streams of studies, academic or vocational. What are the advantages of this to the students and the society of putting students at the two streams at the age of 15? v. 1
Schools in numerous countries suffer from the problematic behaviour of students. There are multiple reasons as to why students misbehave, and a number of possible solutions to mitigate this problem. When some students exhibit problematic behaviour in schools, this is mainly due to two reasons. Firstly, the fact that they hate school. Many students do not enjoy going to school. They dislike the subjects they are being taught and it is likely that they have bad relationships with their teachers as well. For example, a student who loves playing games would get bored quickly during classes, and end up misbehaving. Secondly, many students do not get along with one another, especially teenagers. During this period, aggressive behaviour is expected from these students. In other words, strong and tough students are expected to bully and abuse weak and peaceful ones, leading to many problems at schools. A number of solutions exist to combat this issue. Teachers at schools must be trained and taught how to treat pupils accordingly and earn their trust, specifically the ones that misbehave. Moreover, schools must also try to make adjustments to their curriculum so that lessons become more engaging and interesting to students. This can lead to students becoming interested in their lessons and reduce any problematic behaviour. Furthermore, schools ought to impose strict laws to prevent the aggressive behaviour and bullying that is shown by some bad-tempered teenagers. For instance, those students must be severely punished and their parents must be notified. If they keep abusing their peers, then they must be sent to rehabilitation facilities. To conclude, all around the world, many hostile students cause a lot of harm to their peers as well as their schools. In order to eliminate such behaviour, certain measures must be taken by teachers and schools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
in numerous countries suffer from the problematic
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. There are multiple reasons as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
misbehave, and a number of possible solutions to mitigate this problem.

When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
exhibit problematic
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, this is
mainly
due to two reasons.
Firstly
, the fact that they hate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not enjoy going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They dislike the subjects they are
being taught
and it is likely that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationships with their teachers
as well
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
playing games would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored
quickly
during classes, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up misbehaving.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with one another,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. During this period, aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In other words
, strong and tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to bully and abuse weak and peaceful ones, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems at schools.

A number of solutions exist to combat this issue. Teachers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be trained
and taught how to treat pupils
accordingly
and earn their trust,
specifically
the ones that misbehave.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adjustments to their curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that lessons become more engaging and interesting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
becoming interested in their lessons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
any problematic
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to impose strict laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and bullying that
is shown
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-tempered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
For instance
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
severely
punished and their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be notified
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abusing their peers, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to rehabilitation facilities.

To conclude
, all around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hostile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
harm to their peers
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In order to eliminate such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, certain measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
by teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, at secondary at high school, there may be two or three streams of studies, academic or vocational. What are the advantages of this to the students and the society of putting students at the two streams at the age of 15? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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