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In some countries around the world men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life? v.1

In some countries around the world men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life? v. 1
In the modern century, families decide to give birth to children later in life after having settled down. in this essay will highlight what are the reasons behind this situation and the effects this has on the families and societies. To begin with, there are many reasons why children are later in childbirth. First and foremost, because of the employment of men and women. As more women get educated, They are married later. They cannot leave the family as of inflation. So, there have be baby in later in lives. Another case of, women and men go abroad for employment and study. Who comes back to his country after getting whole study. For example, in a recent survey in the U. S it has been proved that the beginnings of the lives of the people who migrate are late. So, he takes time for them to settle down. However, this choice might bring some drawbacks to not only family life but also the society. Firstly, the gap between parents and children will be clearly expanded. If the children are born later. The parents are highly likely to have more difficulties in understanding, communicating, with and educating their offspring. Secondly, babies born by old humans could suffer from mental and physical problems which result in low quality workforce in the future. To sum up, in this contemporary society, men and women are more focused on employment because of which they delay the start of the family. However, it negative impact on society and family.
In the modern century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
decide to give birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in life after having settled down.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay will highlight what are the reasons behind this situation and the effects this has on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and societies.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in childbirth.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the employment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. As more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated, They
are married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
. They cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as of inflation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there have
Use past participle here: "been".
be
baby in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another case of,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
go abroad for employment and study. Who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
back to his country after getting whole study.
For example
, in a recent survey in the U. S it has
been proved
that the beginnings of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who migrate are late.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he takes time for them to settle down.

However
, this choice might bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society.
Firstly
, the gap between parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
clearly
expanded.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are born
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
. The parents are
highly
likely to have more difficulties in understanding, communicating, with and educating their offspring.
Secondly
, babies born by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
humans could suffer from mental and physical problems which result in low quality workforce in the future.

To sum up, in this contemporary society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more focused on employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they delay the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
, it
Did you mean "negatives"?
negative
impact on society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries around the world men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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