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In some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v.2

In some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 2
In modern times the issue of healthy food has become highly controversial, because number of people like to eat outside of homes. It has been suggested that authorities take effective action on this type of meal. I partially disagree with this idea, in this essay I will provide some arguments to support my opinion. There are variety of reasons why people suffering from disease like water pollution, air pollution and many others. Nowadays, air pollution is biggest problem in most of the countries. Two field are most contributing in air pollution, first day by day increasing companies and factories and second is, day-by-day rising private vehicles. Because of that increasing number of humans which is suffering from skin diseases, asthma problem and breathing allergy. These diseases patient is increasing everyday in the world. Second argument, un pure water using for drink and consumption, which is very unhealthy for our body. Un pure water bad effect on our digestion and sometimes diarrhea and vomit happen for that. Apart from that, people do not care about their diet. They eat meal anytime, that is totally wrong for their stomach. People have no fix schedule for eating. On the other hand, authorities higher tax receive on the junk food. That is working to some extent. If ready-made food expensive then, customers definitely think before buying fast food. In conclusion, this is a topic which is very relevant to modern society. However, I believe quite strongly that authorities make food checking department which is available in the whole country. If the governments implement this policy, it will provide a better life for future generations.
In modern times the issue of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become
highly
controversial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to eat outside of homes. It has
been suggested
that authorities take effective action on this type of meal. I
partially
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, in this essay I will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments to support my opinion.

There are variety of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from disease like water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. Nowadays, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
problem in most of the countries. Two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'field' seems to be countable, so consider using: "fields".
field
are most contributing in air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
first
day by day increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and factories and second is, day-by-day rising private vehicles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that increasing number of humans which is suffering from skin diseases, asthma problem and breathing allergy. These diseases patient is increasing
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
in the world.

Second argument,
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
pure water using for drink and consumption, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy for our body.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Un
pure water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on our digestion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
diarrhea and vomit happen for that. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not care about their diet. They eat meal anytime,
that is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for their stomach.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
schedule for eating.

On the other hand
, authorities higher tax receive on the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
That is
working to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. If ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
expensive then, customers definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relevant to modern society.
However
, I believe quite
strongly
that authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
checking department which is available in the whole country. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
implement this policy, it will provide a better life for future generations.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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