Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.9

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 9
Sample Essay It is argued that governments should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. This essay agrees that a higher rate of tax should be paid by fast food companies. Firstly, this essay will discuss the fact that alcohol and tobacco companies already pay higher taxes and secondly, discuss how higher taxes would raise prices and lower consumption. Higher excise on liqueur and cigarettes has proven to be successful at curbing the harm caused by these substances. This revenue has been used to treat health problems associated with these products and has proven useful in advertising campaigns warning people about the dangers of alcohol and tobacco abuse. Tax from fast food could be used in the same way. The United Kingdom is a prime example, where money from smokers is used to treat lung cancer and heart disease. Increasing taxes would raise prices and lower consumption. Fast food companies would pass on these taxes to consumers in the form of higher prices and this would lead to people not being able to afford junk food because it is too expensive. Junk food would soon become a luxury item and it would only be consumed occasionally, which would be less harmful to the general public’s health. For instance, the cost of organic food has proven prohibitively expensive for most people and that is why only a small percentage of the population buy it regularly. In conclusion, junk food should be taxed at a higher rate because of the good precedent set by alcohol and tobacco and the fact that the increased cost should reduce the amount of fast food people buy.
Sample Essay

It
is argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should levy a tariff on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with consuming this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is on the rise. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that a higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should
be paid
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the fact that alcohol and tobacco
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
already pay higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
and
secondly
, discuss how higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would raise prices and lower consumption.

Higher excise on liqueur and cigarettes has proven to be successful at curbing the harm caused by these substances. This revenue has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to treat health problems associated with these products and has proven useful in advertising campaigns warning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of alcohol and tobacco abuse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the same way
. The United Kingdom is a prime example, where money from smokers is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to treat lung cancer and heart disease.

Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would raise prices and lower consumption.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would pass on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to consumers in the form of higher prices and this would lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not being able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is too expensive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
become a luxury item and it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be consumed
occasionally
, which would be less harmful to the
Consider using "public".
general public
’s health.
For instance
, the cost of organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has proven
prohibitively
expensive for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
that is
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
regularly
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be taxed
at a higher rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
precedent set by alcohol and tobacco and the fact that the increased cost should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts