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Buying things on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.7

In this day or age buying things online, such as books, cloths, food, is common thing. Some people think is come with benefits. but other people believe is not and disagree this idea. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. In one hand half of the community support the idea of buying things on the Internet. For many reasons. For example, firstly we can buy things in less prise. in other word, if you live in America and want to buy something is expansive in your country you can buy it from others country where it is cheaper. In the second place there are alternative and a lot of choisies. For example, If you want a dreas you have a lot of choises maybe thousins or even milions. In the thierd place, we can save time instead of going to the shop and wase your time you can buy it online in just few second. On the other hand, the another half of the community oppose this idea. for many reason. sometime maybe you get the products in bad quality or bad shape. In addition maybe you do not get the products even if you pay for it. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views. I believe that buying things on the Internet for example clothes, books is have many advantages like saving time and you have a lot of choises. but in my opionin it have one disadvage which is the shape maybe you do not get what you want.
In this day or age buying things online, such as books, cloths, food, is common thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with benefits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe is not and disagree this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument.

In one hand half of the community support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of buying things on the Internet. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
For example
,
firstly
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things in less
Possible spelling mistake found.
prise
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in America and want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something is expansive in your country you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it from others country where it is cheaper. In the second place there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “alternatives”?
alternative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
choisies
.
For example
, If you want a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dreas
you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
choises
maybe
Possible spelling mistake found.
thousins
or even
Possible spelling mistake found.
milions
. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
thierd
place, we can save time
instead
of going to the shop and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wase
your time you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it online in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible agreement error. The noun second seems to be countable; consider using: “few seconds”.
few second
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the another half of the community oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: “many reasons”.
many reason
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
sometime
maybe you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the products in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
shape. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
maybe you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the products even if you pay for it.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views. I believe that buying things on the Internet
for example
clothes, books is
Consider using either the past participle “had” or the present participle “having” here.
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages like saving
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
choises
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
but
in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opionin
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “has”.
have
one
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvage
which is the shape maybe you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what you want.
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We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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