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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

To add more tax on fast food by government because community are struggling from health issues in few countries in order to having too much street food. In my opinion, I agree with the given statement because there are lots off unhealthy food are available in the market and they are affecting our health. Firstly, to eat street food on daily basis is not good for our health because majority of restaurants are serving frozen food to their customers. Because of this people are having problems related obesity and fat. However, this type of food is very cheap and everyone can afford on daily basis. In addition, School kids are more diverting to fast food during their lunch because they do not have any restriction from their school or by the government. As a result, they are getting unhealthy day by day. Secondly, people do not have enough time to cook their food at home because of their job and daily chores. However, there are very tight schedule in most of the work place. As a result, they preferred to get the food outside rather than cook at home. This because there are lots of option available to eat different on daily basis. For example, all pizza store and some other are open till early morning so they can eat anything and anytime they want. In conclusion, I am agree that to charge higher tax on fast food is important to have healthy society and parent should aware their child to avoid this kind of food and causes of street food.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
community are struggling from health issues in few countries in order to
Did you mean "have"?
having
too much street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots off unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are available in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
they are affecting our health.

Firstly
, to eat street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
restaurants are serving frozen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to their customers.
Because of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are having problems related obesity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
However
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and everyone can afford on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis.
In addition
, School kids are more diverting to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
during their lunch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have any restriction from their school or by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
As a result
, they are getting unhealthy day by day.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to cook their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
chores.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tight schedule in most of the work place.
As a result
, they preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outside
rather
than cook at home. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots of option available to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis.
For example
, all pizza store and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "others"?
other
are open till early morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can eat anything and anytime they want.

In conclusion
, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that to charge higher tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have healthy society and parent should aware their child to avoid this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and causes of street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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