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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. with this statement? v. 5
At present, most government spend some part of their budget on not only public services, but also the arts, such as, music and theatre. In my opinion, although a proportion of government spending should be channeled towards this sector, however, most should be spent on public services. It is very important that the governments spend a significant amount of its budget on public services because these are our hospitals, roads, schools and so on and they determine the quality of life we live. Take for example, the United Kingdom, the government has recently reduced public spending on health and education, which has resulted in an increased hospital treatments waiting lists and fewer teachers, both of which will have further adverse effects on education standards and health. This demonstrates the importance of ensuring that a large proportion of government money is spent on public services as it is the only way to maintain the welfare of the populace. However, this does not mean that the arts should be completely neglected for these reasons. Firstly, it is difficult for many arts institutions to generate income witout the help of the government as a lot of people are not prepared to pay high entrance fees for places such as art galleries or theatres, so without some help from the government, such places may have to shut down. Secondly, the arts have an important impact on our quality of life, with many people deriving great pleasure in going to see music and theatre performances. Lastly, the performing and literary arts such as dance and books help keep our culture, heritage and history alive for the future generations. In conclusion, although the majority of government spending should be directed towards public services, however, spending some money on the arts is also essential and should continue because it is not a waste of money. A balance is required to ensure that public services are maintained while the arts remain available to all.
At present, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of their budget on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, such as, music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. In my opinion, although a proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
should
be channeled
towards this sector,
however
, most should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
spend a significant amount of its budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are our hospitals, roads, schools and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
on and
they determine the quality of life we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Take
for example
, the United Kingdom, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on health and education, which has resulted in an increased hospital treatments waiting lists and fewer teachers, both of which will have
further
adverse effects on education standards and health. This demonstrates the importance of ensuring that a large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
money
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to maintain the welfare of the populace.

However
, this does not mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be completely neglected for these reasons.
Firstly
, it is difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
institutions to generate income
Possible spelling mistake found.
witout
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not prepared to pay high entrance fees for places such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries or
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, such places may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
shut down.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact on our quality of life, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deriving great pleasure in going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
performances.
Lastly
, the performing and literary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as dance and books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our culture, heritage and history alive for the future generations.

In conclusion
, although the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
should
be directed
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
also
essential and should continue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not a waste of money. A balance
is required
to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are maintained
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
remain available to all.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. with this statement? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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