Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.7

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 7
In certain nations, excessive consumption of fast food has lead to increased health issues. Some people assert that authorities should raise the tax rates of junk foodstuff to reduce the overall consumption. I disagree with this view as I feel providing health education and banning harmful eatables is a best way to curb this issue. To begin with, although government increase the tax rates of junk food people will still continue to buy it. So, health authorities should create awareness about health problems such as obesity and hypertension, which are mainly caused by unhealthy eating. Thus, it will enable people to differentiate between the healthy and unhealthy eating. In addition, certain eatables which contain harmful ingredients should be completely banned from the market. For instance, a survey conducted by FDA reported that about 80 percentage of fast meal contains Aginomotto in it which is considered as slow poison. To conclude, imposing high tax on fast food will not completely limit this problem. Instead, government should provide mass health education to the public as well as stop the production of dangerous substances.
In certain nations, excessive consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food has lead to increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that authorities should raise the tax rates of junk foodstuff to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
overall
consumption. I disagree with this view as I feel providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and banning harmful eatables is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to curb this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
increase the tax rates of junk food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
still
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
authorities should create awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems such as obesity and hypertension, which are
mainly
caused by unhealthy eating.
Thus
, it will enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to differentiate between the healthy and unhealthy eating.

In addition
, certain eatables which contain harmful ingredients should be completely banned from the market.
For instance
, a survey conducted by FDA reported that about 80 percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
meal contains
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aginomotto
in it which
is considered
as slow poison.

To conclude
, imposing high tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food will not completely limit this problem.
Instead
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education to the public
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the production of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
substances.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts