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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v. 103 v.44

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 103 v. 44
Health problems caused by the excessive consumption of fast foods have assumed epidemic proportions all over the world. It is believed that governments should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. I agree that a higher rate of tax ought to be paid by fast food companies. First and foremost, we can easily observe the negative effect of this food has on us. According to research data, a large number of people are getting addicted to fast food which results in having diseases, including colorectal cancer, obesity, and high cholesterol also have a tendency to raise. Hence, an increase in its price through imposing tax may discourage people from buying and consuming comfort food, in particular for children and teenagers who suffer the most from health disorders. Increasing taxes would raise prices and lower consumption. Junk food companies would pass on these taxes to consumers in the form of higher prices and this would lead to people not being able to afford fast food because it is too expensive. Furthermore, comfort food would soon become a luxury item and it would only be consumed occasionally, which would be less harmful to the general public’s health. The cost of organic food, for instance, has proven prohibitively expensive for most people and that is why only a small percentage of the population buys it regularly. In conclusion, I consider that junk foods should be taxed at a higher rate to ameliorate this situation. A higher price will assist people to curb their temptation as well as it will force the seller to concoct new business.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
problems caused by the excessive consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have assumed epidemic proportions all over the world. It
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should levy a tariff on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with consuming this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is on the rise. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
ought to
be paid
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

First
and foremost, we can
easily
observe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has on us. According to research data,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which results in having diseases, including colorectal cancer, obesity, and high cholesterol
also
have a tendency to raise.
Hence
, an increase in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
through imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
may discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from buying and consuming comfort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
in particular
for children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who suffer the most from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
disorders.

Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
and lower consumption. Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would pass on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to consumers in the form of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
and this would lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not being able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is too expensive.
Furthermore
, comfort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
become a luxury item and it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be consumed
occasionally
, which would be less harmful to the
Consider using "public".
general public
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The cost of organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
for instance
, has proven
prohibitively
expensive for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
that is
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
it
regularly
.

In conclusion
, I consider that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
should
be taxed
at a higher rate to ameliorate this situation. A higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
will assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to curb their temptation
as well
as it will force the seller to concoct new business.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 103 v. 44

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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