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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v. 100 v.41

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 100 v. 41
Nowadays, many people are consuming large quantities of junk cuisine, which is the main cause of serious health issues; such as, obesity, heart diseases and hypertension. Some people assume that the governments have the main role to mitigate such matter by; for example, increasing the tax on fast food. I, personally, agree with them, and I believe all medical workers are also capablealso to modify people’s general thinking. Firstly, the governments should reform rules and regulations about processed food by higher it, and, then, using that revenue to enhance the community well –being. They must allocate funds toward sport activities; for instance, the free sport machines found at parks, so encouraging physical activities to create some sort of balance. Moreover, regulatory bodies should subsidies sports as extracurricular at schools, so children may maintain advanced physical and mental health. All in all, increasing tax is feasible approach to acquire healthier generation. Secondly, doctors and all health workers must indulge to decrease this trend and to raise the public awareness about the detrimental effects of unhealthy dietary habits. They might use the social media to spread all crucial advices about the importance of eating healthy, homemade meals despite our busy schedules. In the modern era, there are several websites were done to serve the public and to help them out to cook healthy food very easy. These internet pages are reliable and convenient. That is why all doctors from the whole globe should educate their patients about eating healthy food. In conclusion, even though there is plethora of food choices, we should make the right choice for our own sake. I advocate that both government and doctors must work together to motivate healthy meals; thus, healthier and happier communities. It is predicted if we proceeded to eat less fast food, we would suffer less from chronic illness.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are consuming large quantities of junk cuisine, which is the main cause of serious health issues; such as, obesity, heart diseases and hypertension.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have the main role to mitigate such matter by;
for example
, increasing the tax on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I,
personally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them, and I believe all medical workers are
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
capablealso
to modify
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s general thinking.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should reform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations about processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by higher it, and, then, using that revenue to enhance the community
A dash was used instead of a hyphen. Did you mean: "well-being".
well –being
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
allocate funds toward sport activities;
for instance
, the free sport machines found at parks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
encouraging physical activities to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of balance.
Moreover
, regulatory bodies should subsidies sports as extracurricular at schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
children may maintain advanced physical and mental health. All in all, increasing tax is feasible approach to acquire healthier generation.

Secondly
, doctors and all health workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
indulge to decrease this trend and to raise the public awareness about the detrimental effects of unhealthy dietary habits. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the social media to spread all crucial advices about the importance of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, homemade meals despite our busy schedules. In the modern era, there are several websites
were done
to serve the public and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them out to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy. These internet pages are reliable and convenient.
That is
why all doctors from the whole globe should educate their patients about eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choice for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake. I advocate that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work together to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meals;
thus
, healthier and happier communities. It
is predicted
if we proceeded to eat less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, we would suffer less from chronic illness.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 100 v. 41

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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