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University students are increasingly studying abroad as a part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

University students are increasingly studying abroad as a part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
In the current scenario, it is common for people to study abroad as a part of their study, and the reason behind the increase in University students studying abroad, because of their curiosity to travel far-off place as well as to improve their Adaptivity over the other environments these are some of the advantages of studying abroad. From my point of view, even though, studying abroad has its own disadvantages like others, but these disadvantages will become balanced when compared with the advantages received. Therefore, Positivity and negativity will be discussed in the upcoming paragraph. To begin, there are several reasons which point out the benefits obtained from studying abroad. For instance, when a person travel to far-off places, he may have fear, home sickness etc. But once he gets adapted to these situations. That individual will automatically gain confidence to handle the problems that the human has to face. In addition to this, the person's has the opportunity to learn about other countries culture, habits etc. Despite these positivity the major benefit that a human will obtain from education abroad is the knowledge. Secondly, the disadvantage is minimized when compared with advantage. Therefore, some of the Known disadvantages are fearful, homesickness, stress, depression etc. However, once a person Persists all these disadvantages, he will receive a Boon called Adaptivity. Thus, There is an old saying which says a person need to lose something in order to gain something, which is proven in the above paragraph. In conclusion, from the above paragraph, it can be clear that the benefits of studying abroad are greater than its loss.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, it is common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
as a part of their study, and the reason behind the increase in University students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their curiosity to travel far-off place
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adaptivity
over the other environments these are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. From my point of view,
even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages like others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these disadvantages will become balanced when compared with the advantages received.
Therefore
, Positivity and negativity will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are several reasons which point out the benefits obtained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
For instance
, when a person travel to far-off places, he may have fear, home sickness etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
once he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
adapted to these situations. That individual will
automatically
gain confidence to handle the problems that the human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face.
In addition
to this, the person's has the opportunity to learn about other countries culture, habits etc. Despite
Did you mean "this positivity" or "these positivities"?
these positivity
the major benefit that a human will obtain from education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is the knowledge.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is minimized
when compared with advantage.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the

Known disadvantages are fearful, homesickness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression etc.
However
, once a person

Persists all these disadvantages, he will receive a

Boon called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adaptivity
.
Thus
, There is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying which says a person need to lose something in order to gain something, which
is proven
in the above paragraph.

In conclusion
, from the above paragraph, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
are greater than its loss.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as a part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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