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In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on unhealthy food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.32

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on unhealthy food. v. 32
In recent times, major health issues in every age group are increasing day by day. It is an undeniable fact that the biggest contributor to this is junk or unhealthy food. Some people believe that it is the high time governments should take initiative and increase the taxes on fast food. I strongly agree with this argument because one of the basic reasons behind individuals eating junk food is that its way cheaper than the healthy food. I will discuss my ideas in following paragraphs. There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most significant one is that if unhealthy food will be expensive, people will definitely avoid eating it. Nowadays, almost every individual prefers fast food over home cooked food because of several reasons like it is cheaper, they don't have enough time to cook due to hectic schedule, etc. Another valid reason is that healthy foodstuff is very expensive all around the world. Most of the times, it is out of people's budget. They cannot afford healthy snack items. So, they eat junk food and give it to their children too. Secondly, people eat junk food because of the taste. They find it very delicious in comparison to food items which are good for their body but are tasteless. They don't realise anything until major health problems arise. Obesity is the biggest concern around the globe. For an instance, in the USA almost 60% children are obese, which is an alarm for governments to take some actions. To sum up, I will conclude by saying that if governments increase the taxes on bad food items, it will be a great initiative. People will eat healthier if they find them same priced. Major diseases can be controlled by this small step.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, major health issues in every age group are increasing day by day. It is an undeniable fact that the biggest contributor to this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
or unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take initiative and increase the taxes on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one of the basic reasons behind individuals eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is that its way cheaper than the healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I will discuss my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in following paragraphs.

There are a number of arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. The most significant one is that if unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will be expensive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will definitely avoid eating it. Nowadays, almost every individual prefers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons like it is cheaper, they don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook due to hectic schedule, etc. Another valid reason is that healthy foodstuff is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive all around the world. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, it is out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's budget. They cannot afford healthy snack items.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and give it to their children too.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the taste. They find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
delicious
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are tasteless. They don't
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
anything until major health problems arise. Obesity is the biggest concern around the globe. For an instance, in the USA almost 60% children are obese, which is an alarm for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions.

To sum up, I will conclude by saying that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
increase the taxes on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items, it will be a great initiative.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will eat healthier if they find them same priced. Major diseases can
be controlled
by this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
step.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on unhealthy food. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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