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In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree v.31

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 31
Food is the main source for human survival. Nowadays, there is a vast increase in the consumption of junk food in many countries. The advantages overweigh the disadvantages of eating junk food. Therefore, imposing higher taxes on junk food by the government is necessary to some extent. But, there are many more remedies to be taken to reduce having such food. I personally agree with both side and my views are briefly explained in the following passage. On one hand, individual's life became too busy in rush to their work. Therefore, one has no time to have healthy food. In this case, people prefer to have such junk foods available either at restaurants or on the streets called street foods. In these days, modern methods have changed the society with the new technologies. In a way that, one can order food through their mobiles and laptops from the place where they are. Indirectly, this made humans easy to have food and also it saves their time. Irrespective of the food what they are having people just see their comfort. Taking junk food also leads to health issues. Neglecting the age differences people must be thinking about the health problems they may get by eating junk foods. On the other hand, imposing higher taxes by authorities may reduce consumption of junk food to only some extent. However, individual's don't bother about the amount they are spending on food. One is just looking for a tasty and delicious food in order to have healthy food. As days pass on the quality of food is also getting degraded. The young generation now getting addicted to fast foods which spoils one's health. For example, when they go to restaurants they just order various food just to show their status before their friend’s. After having considered all the points that I have mentioned above, we can finally draw a conclusion that I personally think by spreading about the side effects of having junk food may reduce the level of consuming such food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is the main source for human survival. Nowadays, there is a vast increase in the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. The advantages
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the disadvantages of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Therefore
, imposing higher taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is necessary to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more remedies to
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both side and my views are
briefly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following passage.

On one hand, individual's life became too busy in rush to their work.
Therefore
, one has no time to have healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In this case
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
available either at restaurants or on the streets called street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In these days, modern methods have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the society with the new technologies.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
a way that, one can order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
through their mobiles and laptops from the place where they are.
Indirectly
, this made humans easy to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
it saves their time. Irrespective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their comfort. Taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
leads to health issues. Neglecting the age differences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be thinking about the health problems they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
foods.

On the other hand
, imposing higher taxes by authorities may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
However
,
Consider using the plural form here: "individuals".
individual's
don't bother about the amount they are spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. One is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
looking for a tasty and delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to have healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
days pass on the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
also
getting degraded. The young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
getting addicted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which spoils one's health.
For example
, when they go to restaurants they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
order various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their friend’s.

After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
considered all the points that I have mentioned above, we can
finally
draw a conclusion that I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by spreading about the side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of consuming such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 31

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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