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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.14

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 14
In most countries, eating fast food is common nowadays. Eating too much of this type of food can affect people’s health badly. Governments can help to stop this by imposing higher prices on these foods. I tend to disagree with this statement because I believe it is a personal choice. To start with, it is easy to disagree with this view for several reasons. First of all, people choose what they want to eat and what they do not want to eat. Eating healthy food can be easy if people really want to do it. For instance, if someone works Monday-Friday, from 9 am to 6 pm, just having 1hr for lunch they can bring their lunch to work. They can cook their own food at home on the weekend, saving it in the fridge for the whole week. This is cheaper than buying fast food every day and more convenient. If it is difficult to cook at home, another option could be to buy healthy food at restaurants that serve salads, meats and sandwiches. In this way, they are caring for their health, not choosing to eat junk food every day. It is important to mention that exercise contributes to being healthy. On the other hand, governments can impose higher taxes on this kind of food, but people will continue eating it. People who love to eat this type of food will buy it no matter its price. Maybe, imposing higher taxes can encourage people to eat less, however, this will not stop everyone, especially those who love fast food. Overall, eating junk food decreases the health of the population. Governments can impose higher prices on this type of food but it can not obligate people to stop eating this. People should care for their health, deciding not to eat this type of food but if they decide to eat junk food, the government has no right to make them stop.
In most countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is common nowadays.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Eating
too much of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
badly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
this by imposing higher prices on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. I tend to disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe it is a personal choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is easy to disagree with this view for several reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose what they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
and what they do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Eating
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be easy if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
really
want to do it.
For instance
, if someone works Monday-Friday, from 9 am to 6 pm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having 1hr for lunch they can bring their lunch to work. They can cook their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home on the weekend, saving it in the fridge for the whole week. This is cheaper than buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every day and more convenient. If it is difficult to cook at home, another option could be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at restaurants that serve salads, meats and sandwiches. In this way, they are caring for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, not choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every day. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to mention that exercise contributes to being healthy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can impose higher taxes on this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it no matter its price. Maybe, imposing higher taxes can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
less,
however
, this will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
everyone,
especially
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
decreases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the population.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
can impose higher prices on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can not obligate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, deciding not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has no right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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