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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.4

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 4
When it comes to the roles of companies, It is often argued by some theoricians that corporations should be responsible against society in different ways. I completely see eye-to-eye with these individuals because of two compelling reasons explained in this essay. First and foremost, it is undeniable that companies can potentially have negative impacts on local businesses. In other words, in this present climate and due to globalization, there is high chance that large companies endanger the existance of small domestic companies, consequently escalate redundancy and joblessness in society. For this reason, local governments should impose new laws to force these companies to guarantee the profit of smaller businesses. Good examples of this are well-known pharmaceutical companies. International medical companies can easily erod locally-based drug manufacturers if authorities do not limit their activites. In addition, from an enviromental prospect, large corporations may raise global issues. Not only, do these big names deteriorate the global warming phenomonen, but they can also worsen contamination and pollution of where their head offices are located. It means that, many of these companies have manufacturing factories that increase green gas production, thus leads to global warming. Take oil and gas companies as an example. By not having sufficient supervision from governments, these companies can easily contaminate water resources and end-up making tons of industrial waste which consequently will destory our planet in near future. To draw a conclusion, I believe that copmanies can substantially influence economy and environment. Therefore, they are obliged to take responsibilty towards people and societies by limitting their negative influences on the market and their surrounding environment.
When it
comes
to the roles of
companies
, It is
often
argued by
some
theoricians
that corporations should be responsible against society in
different
ways. I completely
see
eye-to-eye with these individuals
because
of two compelling reasons
explained
in this essay.

First
and foremost, it is undeniable that
companies
can
potentially
have
negative
impacts on local businesses.
In other words
, in this present climate and due to globalization, there is high chance that large
companies
endanger the
existance
of
small
domestic
companies
,
consequently
escalate redundancy and joblessness in society.
For this reason
, local
governments
should impose new laws to force these
companies
to guarantee the profit of smaller businesses.
Good
examples of this are well-known pharmaceutical
companies
. International medical
companies
can
easily
erod
locally
-based drug manufacturers if authorities do not limit their
activites
.

In addition
, from an
enviromental
prospect, large corporations may raise global issues. Not
only
, do these
big
names deteriorate the global warming
phenomonen
,
but
they can
also
worsen contamination and pollution of where their head offices
are located
. It means that,
many
of these
companies
have manufacturing factories that increase green gas production,
thus
leads to global warming. Take oil and gas
companies
as an example. By not having sufficient supervision from
governments
, these
companies
can
easily
contaminate water resources and
end
-up making tons of industrial waste which
consequently
will
destory
our planet in near future.

To draw a conclusion, I believe that
copmanies
can
substantially
influence economy and environment.
Therefore
, they
are obliged
to take
responsibilty
towards
people
and societies by
limitting
their
negative
influences on the market and their surrounding environment.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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