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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? v.1

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? v. 1
It is true that some parents are overly permissive and tend to spoil their children. In my opinion, this is not a good parenting style, and it can have some negative long-term consequences. If parents want to raise respectful and well-behaved children, I believe that a certain amount of discipline is needed. Having worked with children myself, (-dan sonra) I have learnt that clear expectations and boundaries are necessary, and it is important to be able to say "no" to children when they misbehave or try to cross the line. This is the only way to teach young people to act wiser and develop self-control. In my view, parents who do the opposite and constantly give in (pes etmek) to their children's demands, are actually doing harm to their children and mislead them. The children of "soft" parents are likely to end up with some negative personality traits. The first and most obvious danger is that these children will become self-centred adults who show little consideration for the feelings and needs of others. One consequence of such an attitude could be that these adults are unable to work in groups with other colleagues. Secondly, such people may act fast and without thinking. A person who has never lived with any boundaries is likely to lack the patience to consider options carefully before making decisions. This may lead, for example, to an unwise financial decision. In summary, parents should help their children to develop self-control and respect for others, and I do not believe that the permissive parenting style supports this objective.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
overly
permissive and tend to spoil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion, this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting style, and it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
long-term consequences.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to raise respectful and well-behaved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that a certain amount of discipline
is needed
. Having worked with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
myself, (
Possible spelling mistake found.
-dan
Possible spelling mistake found.
sonra
) I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
expectations and boundaries are necessary, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be able to say
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
no
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they misbehave or try to cross the line. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to teach young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to act wiser and develop self-control. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who do the opposite and
constantly
give in (
Possible spelling mistake found.
pes
Possible spelling mistake found.
etmek
) to their children's demands, are actually doing harm to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and mislead them.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
soft
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
personality traits. The
first
and most obvious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centred
adults who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
consideration for the feelings and needs of others. One consequence of such an attitude could be that these adults are unable to work in groups with other colleagues.
Secondly
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and without thinking. A person who has never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with any boundaries is likely to lack the patience to consider options
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making decisions. This may lead,
for example
, to an unwise financial decision.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop self-control and respect for others, and I do not believe that the permissive parenting style supports this objective.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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