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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh disadvantage? v.6

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh disadvantage? v. 6
Nowadays, due to stress, people suffering from mental sickness are increasing day-by-day. This is mainly because of the long working hours in the office premises, and due to unhealthy personal relationships. Some essential solutions can eradicate these problems. One of the major causes of falling mentally sick is the stretched working hours at workplaces. In other words, people these days are more inclined towards earning money, which manifestly plays a crucial role in maintaining status in the society, works extra hours in the office, severely damaging their psychological health. For instance, in many companies, serving extra hours are incentivised, which attracts the employees, thereby spending more time on the campus. Another cause of stress-related illness is unhealthy relationships. For example, these days, it is undeniable that both of the family members are on the job and earning to run the family, which results in less time spent together to grow emotionally. Thus, this emotional imbalance produces stress and give rise to illness. There are several solutions to prevent stress-based sickness. Firstly, companies can introduce flexible working hours so that employees can have a check on their work-life balance. This step will not only benefit employees but also take care of the employee satisfaction factor in the companies. For instance, many multi-national companies have researched working from home policy, which allows their associates to complete their tasks from home over the internet, and found productive and satisfactory as compared to continuous working in the offices. Another solution to avoid mental illness in working couples is to have a subsidised mandatory leave system for couples so that they can spend quality time together. This solution will ensure healthy inter-personal relations and stress-free life. In conclusion, while people suffering from stress-based sickness are becoming increasingly popular due to long working hours and unhealthy relationships, companies must come forward to introduce innovative policies such as selective working hours and couples must take advantage of financial support from their work in taking off for a day or two.
Nowadays, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from mental sickness are increasing day-by-day. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the office premises, and due to unhealthy personal relationships.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can eradicate these problems.

One of the major causes of falling mentally sick is the stretched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at workplaces.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days are more inclined towards earning money, which
manifestly
plays a crucial role in maintaining status in the society, works extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the office,
severely
damaging their psychological health.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, serving extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'incentivised' is British English.
incentivised
, which attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, thereby spending more time on the campus. Another cause of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related illness is unhealthy relationships.
For example
, these days, it is undeniable that both of the family members are on the job and earning to run the family, which results in less time spent together to grow
emotionally
.
Thus
, this emotional imbalance produces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and give rise to illness.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-based sickness.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can introduce flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on their work-life balance. This step will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
satisfaction factor in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multi-national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have researched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home policy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
their associates to complete their tasks from home over the internet, and found productive and satisfactory as compared to continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the offices. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to avoid mental illness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
couples is to have a
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
mandatory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
system for couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can spend quality time together. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
will ensure healthy inter-personal relations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free life.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-based sickness are becoming
increasingly
popular due to long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and unhealthy relationships,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to introduce innovative policies such as selective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and couples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take advantage of financial support from their work in taking off for a day or two.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh disadvantage? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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