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some people claim that newspaper is the best way to get the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

some people claim that newspaper is the best way to get the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. v. 1
while, many individuals hold that newspaper is the best way to obtain the fresh knowledge since it has more effective way than electronic media. I disagree with this statement. I would discuss about this statement in the following paragraphs. first and the prominent reason, the newspaper take much time for producing and distributing. producing hundred of copies of newspaper in the publisher take at least twelve hours. After that, they take the report to journalist how many newspapers are ready. Moreover, who people distribute the newspaper they take decent salary for distributing the newspaper. In addition to, it is long process, it gives limited news. It has approximately twenty pages. It takes out of update news. For example, if something is happened today then it gives this news tomorrow. Contrary to above the statement, other media is more effective than newspaper is internet. Electronic media can do update the news immediately whilst newspaper can not do it. Some people are extremely interested to obtain much information which they can receive by internet. Furthermore, nowadays, mostly individuals use the internet which take much knowledge them related to everything. such as world wide information, about games and politics related. But it is little bit expensive as compared newspaper. The last but not least thing is that electronic media telecast all the news on television and internet because of this reason, people receive fresh information time to time. In the conclusion, development of the technology is the best way to receive the latest information than newspaper and It is the easiest way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals hold that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is the best way to obtain the fresh knowledge since it has more effective way than electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. I disagree with this statement. I would
Did you mean simply "discuss this"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about this
statement in the following paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and the prominent reason, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
take much time for producing and distributing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
producing
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
of copies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
in the publisher take at least twelve hours. After that, they take the report to journalist how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are ready.
Moreover
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
distribute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
they take decent salary for distributing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
.
In addition
to, it is long process, it gives limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. It has approximately twenty pages. It takes out of update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For example
, if something
is happened
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
then it gives this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
tomorrow.

Contrary to above the statement, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is internet. Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can do update the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
immediately whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
can not do it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
extremely
interested to obtain much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which they can receive by internet.
Furthermore
, nowadays,
mostly
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet which take much knowledge them related to everything.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, about games and politics related.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
expensive as compared newspaper.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
thing is that electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
telecast all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on television and internet
because of this
reason,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
receive fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
time to time. In the conclusion, development of the technology is the best way to receive the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
and It is the easiest way.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay some people claim that newspaper is the best way to get the latest information because it has more influence than other forms of media. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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