Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. but some advertisers claim that there is useful information in the advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. but some advertisers claim that there is useful information in the advertisements. v. 2
In some nations, more and more advertisers make efforts to convince children to buy the types of goods they like such as toys and snack. While some advertiser affirm about the usefulness of information in the advertisement to attract more customers especially children, I agree with parents to consider those advertisements to put pressure on children since they don’t know how to select the suitable products. On the one hand, advertisers always make sure that the information in the advertisements is useful because they want to persuade viewers, especially children, to make more purchases than they really need. This helps revenue of products is rising as much as possible. For instance, Vinamilk with the advertiser's image of cute cows has easily impacted on the children, which helps Vinamilk revenue to always be the top in the dairy industry in Vietnam. However, I find that there are some advertisements which exaggerate the truth and children are too young to distinguish that if the information in the advertisements is true or not. On the other hand, parents afraid of the fact that those advertisements have put pressure on children because It’s hard for them to choose the best product which suitable for them. There is more and more children’s product appearing which have many funny pictures and attractive animations to make children to ask their parents buy. However, the problem is that not all products which appear on media are good and It will be very difficult for children to choose something that suits their family's conditions and personal interests. For example, after watching a lot of video advertisement about many kinds of snacks, my cousin wanted to buy some, but it took him a stressful day to choose because what he likes is too expensive, and the cheaper one he doesn't want. Therefore, I think parents may worry a lot about these situations because if the kids think of products too much, they will have no more time for studying and entertaining. In conclusion, more and more advertisements are aimed at attracting children customers. While advertisers argue that the material in their ads is helpful, I strongly agree with the parents' opinion that children will be pressured by those advertisements because they have a negative impact on their studying.
In
some
nations, more and more
advertisers
make
efforts to convince
children
to
buy
the types of
goods
they like such as toys and snack. While
some
advertiser
affirm about the usefulness of information in the
advertisement
to attract more customers
especially
children
, I
agree
with
parents
to consider those
advertisements
to put pressure on
children
since they don’t know how to select the suitable products.

On the one hand,
advertisers
always
make
sure that the information in the
advertisements
is useful
because
they want to persuade viewers,
especially
children
, to
make
more
purchases
than they
really
need. This
helps
revenue of
products
is rising as much as possible.
For instance
,
Vinamilk
with the advertiser's image of cute cows has
easily
impacted on the
children
, which
helps
Vinamilk
revenue to always be the top in the dairy industry in Vietnam.
However
, I find that there are
some
advertisements
which exaggerate the truth and
children
are too young to distinguish that if the information in the
advertisements
is true or not.

On the other hand
,
parents
afraid of the fact that those
advertisements
have put pressure on
children
because
It’s
hard
for them to choose the best
product
which suitable for them. There is more and more
children’s
product
appearing which have
many
funny
pictures and attractive animations to
make
children
to ask their
parents
buy
.
However
, the problem is that not all
products
which appear on media are
good
and It will be
very
difficult for
children
to choose something that suits their family's conditions and personal interests.
For example
, after watching
a lot of
video
advertisement
about
many
kinds of snacks, my cousin wanted to
buy
some
,
but
it took him a stressful day to choose
because
what he likes is too expensive, and the cheaper one he doesn't want.
Therefore
, I
think
parents
may worry a lot about these situations
because
if the kids
think
of
products
too much, they will have no more time for studying and entertaining.

In conclusion
, more and more
advertisements
are aimed
at attracting
children
customers. While
advertisers
argue that the material in their ads is helpful, I
strongly
agree
with the parents' opinion that
children
will
be pressured
by those
advertisements
because
they have a
negative
impact on their studying.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. but some advertisers claim that there is useful information in the advertisements. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts