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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occuring? Do you think changes are positive or negative? v.10

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occuring? Do you think changes are positive or negative? v. 10
The notion of family has been altered drastically in recent decades. With the development of engineering and technology, there have been some common patterns - families are becoming smaller, and family members are enjoying more equality. I firmly believe that the changes occurred have brought more benefits than drawbacks to society. In my view, there have been two significant changes in the evolution of the family composition. The first one is the downsizing of the family units. As people are moving away from their old family houses for work, they would see less of the extended family. As a result, the size of a family dinner is vastly reduced to three to five maximum. The second trend is that young parents are taking more equal responsibilities in household chores and making identical financial contributions. In contrast to the typical housewife setting, according to Pew Research, 30 percent more males in the USA is helping their spouse in the kitchen. All the above changes, in my perspective, are positive and ought to be celebrated. To begin with, the shrinking in family size means there will be more flexibility in family activity planning. For instance, children will enjoy more attention and time from their parents. Moreover, equality in household responsibilities will undoubtedly promote gender equality and will bring a positive influence to future generations. For example, as the only girl in the family, growing up, I never felt less than my brother as my mother had an equally well-paid job as my father. In conclusion, there's no doubt that the idea of family has evolved in recent decades. As family size became smaller and gender roles more equal, I believe that we are heading towards a more productive and well-rounded society.
The notion of
family
has
been altered
drastically
in recent decades. With the development of engineering and technology, there have been
some
common patterns
-
families
are becoming smaller, and
family
members are enjoying more equality. I
firmly
believe that the
changes
occurred have brought more benefits than drawbacks to society.

In my view, there have been two significant
changes
in the evolution of the
family
composition. The
first
one is the downsizing of the
family
units. As
people
are moving away from their
old
family
houses
for work, they would
see
less of the extended
family
.
As a result
, the size of a
family
dinner is
vastly
reduced
to three to five maximum. The second trend is that young parents are taking more equal responsibilities in household chores and making identical financial contributions.
In contrast
to the typical housewife setting, according to Pew Research, 30 percent more males in the USA is helping their spouse in the kitchen.

All the above
changes
, in my perspective, are
positive
and ought to
be celebrated
. To
begin
with, the shrinking in
family
size means there will be more flexibility in
family
activity planning.
For instance
, children will enjoy more attention and time from their parents.
Moreover
, equality in household responsibilities will
undoubtedly
promote gender equality and will bring a
positive
influence to future generations.
For example
, as the
only
girl in the
family
, growing up, I never felt less than my brother as my mother had an
equally
well-paid job as my father.

In conclusion
, there's no doubt that the
idea
of
family
has evolved in recent decades. As
family
size became smaller and gender roles more equal, I believe that we are heading towards a more productive and well-rounded society.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occuring? Do you think changes are positive or negative? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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