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There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children while some advertisers claim that they provid v.1

There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children while some advertisers claim that they provid v. 1
The export and the import have become a heated topic of controversy. Most of the foods such as spices, vegetables, coconut related foods are travelling across the world to satisfy the consumer demand. Some people argue that if users purchase food from their local farmers, it will lead to support the increase of the local market and protecting the environment by reducing the percentage of pollution. I agree with this view to a certain extent. In my opinion, purchasing food from local farmers is certainly a better way to increase local market and save nature. In the meantime, that could be the main reason for having fewer choices in food and the cut down the main income of the country. First, it must be admitted that the export and import business is considered as an important category which helps to gain more money for the county in most of the developing countries. By encouraging the fact that purchasing food only from local farmers can be a direct impact for the financial state of the country as the farmers and the other third party local vendors could not be able to sell the food to exact global rate to regional people. Also from the consumer point of view, it will cause to reduce people’s food choices. For instance, nowadays the markets have different kinds of food which are coming from different countries. Because of that, people would be able to experience them instead of being there. On the other hand, being supportive for local farmers by buying their food regularly will give them a hope that their business can be grown into another level same as delivering their products to other countries. Not only that, they will be able to help to reduce global warming and some of the environmental pollution that happens while transporting food such as noise, transport, fuel, and air. The most important fact is people get a chance to eat healthy products which do not contain any chemicals in it. For instance, all the imported food products contain many chemicals to keep fresh until the expiry date. To conclude, if people give preference to the local produce, it will certainly benefit their health, the environment and the local employment. But at the same time, it will affect the people’s food choices and economy of the country. Therefore, I believe, people can save the environment and increase the local business by limiting the export and import category into a considerable level.
The export and the import have become a heated topic of controversy. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
such as spices, vegetables, coconut related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are travelling across the world to satisfy the consumer demand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that if users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
, it will lead to support the increase of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market and protecting the environment by reducing the percentage of pollution. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view to a certain extent. In my opinion, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
is
certainly
a better way to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market and save nature. In the meantime, that could be the main reason for having fewer choices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the main income of the country.

First
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
that the export and import business
is considered
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
category which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to gain more money for the county in most of the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. By encouraging the fact that purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
can be a direct impact for the financial state of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
and the other third party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors could not be able to sell the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to exact global rate to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
from the consumer point of view, it will cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices.
For instance
, nowadays the markets have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which are coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to experience them
instead
of being there.

On the other hand
, being supportive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
by buying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regularly
will give them a hope that their business can
be grown
into another level same as delivering their products to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
global warming and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
environmental pollution that happens while transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as noise, transport, fuel, and air. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fact is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to eat healthy products which do not contain any chemicals in it.
For instance
, all the imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chemicals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fresh until the expiry date.

To conclude
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give preference to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
produce, it will
certainly
benefit their health, the environment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
employment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the same time, it will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices and economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save the environment and increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business by limiting the export and import category into a considerable level.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children while some advertisers claim that they provid v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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