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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.22

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. 22
People's opinions differ as to whether high income is in the country's interest or that the government should regulate the wages of the citizens. In my opinion, I believe that the authority should monitor people's take-home, so that the excesses could be used to improve other sectors of the nation. On the one hand, some think that earning a high income, encourages contentment. That is to say, when people have enough cash, they are able to meet almost all their daily necessities, consequently, they are not in quest of getting more money unduly. As a result of this, society is more serene as there would be safety and security of lives and properties to a reasonable extent. In addition, this excess fund could be used by some of these individuals to brighten the hope of other citizens. For example, some high-income earners in the country build orphanages and this has helped to mop up destitute from the streets. On the other hand, some opine that there should be checks on people's wages and I agree with this. Although some would earn more and assist other less privileged but when there is equity, the nation would be a better place for all. Due to the control of funds, the government would be able to disburse money into other meaningful projects such as basic infrastructure, health, education etc. For instance, the salaries of the members of the National Assembly of Nigeria is outrageous and needs to be cut down so that the budget of the country can reduce and more can be done to improve the standard of living of the citizens. In conclusion, in spite of the various views on how much individuals should be paid, in my opinion, I believe that authority should regulate people's wages so that society will be a better place to live and the standard of living too will improve drastically.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People's
opinions differ
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
high income is in the country's interest or that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should regulate the wages of the citizens. In my opinion, I believe that the authority should monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
take-home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the excesses could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors of the nation.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that earning a high income, encourages contentment.
That is
to say, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cash, they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
almost all their daily necessities,
consequently
, they are not in quest of getting more money
unduly
.
As a result
of this, society is more serene as there would be safety and security of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and properties to a reasonable extent.
In addition
, this excess fund could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these individuals to brighten the hope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
citizens.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high-income earners in the country build orphanages and this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to mop up destitute from the streets.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that there should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
wages and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would earn more and assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
less privileged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when there is equity, the nation would be a better place for all. Due to the control of funds, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would be able to disburse money into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
meaningful projects such as basic infrastructure, health, education etc.
For instance
, the salaries of the members of the National Assembly of Nigeria is outrageous and needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the budget of the country can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and more can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living of the citizens.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the various views on how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
individuals should
be paid
, in my opinion, I believe that authority should regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
wages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that society will be a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and the standard of living too will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
drastically
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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