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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.3

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 3
Many countries are giving overwhelmingly high salary packages to some employers. While it is considered by some people advantageous for a country, in my opinion, the state should minimized and control it. On the one hand, the high salaries earning by some individuals is advantageous for a country and their right too. This is because some professionals who are possessing sophisticated knowledge, through their hard struggle and devotion, is unprecedented for a country development and prosperity. Which in turn mean, it is their legal and moral right to receive higher salaries than the other individuals in the society, as the work of former is of paramount importance. Take for example, Doctors, Engineers and Bureaucrats, who are earning more money, is owing to their academic and professional experience struggle. Thus, these professionals ought to be liable to higher salaries, due to their critical role in the prosperity of their country and their educational and professional background. On the other hand, the opponents of the former view argue that, the government should impose a certain limit and control on such behemoth pays and I agree. High salaries is a serious burden on the country’s economy and is not a wise financial decision, especially for underdeveloped nations. That is to say, less fortunate nations are already in financial debt, as they are acquiring economical support and loans from other developed countries; thus, ultimately, it is unreasonable and not viable for them for opt to pay such enormous amounts to certain employers. For instance, a Judge monthly salary is minimum $15000 in Pakistan, which is payed to them through the tax-payer’s money, imposing to them in the form of overwhelming taxes. Therefore, it is unjustifiable to give high pays to some individuals, owing to the burden it causes on the country’s economic sector. In conclusion, some people argue that it is beneficial for a country that few people are getting high salaries. However, I think, it is detrimental for a country, as it is resulting in strain on the country finance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are giving
overwhelmingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
packages to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers. While it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advantageous for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, in my opinion, the state should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "minimize"
minimized
and control it.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
earning by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals is advantageous for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and their right too. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
who
The verb 'possessing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are possessing
sophisticated knowledge, through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
struggle and devotion,
is unprecedented
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
development and prosperity. Which in turn mean, it is their legal and moral right to receive higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
than the other individuals in the society, as the work of former is of paramount importance. Take
for example
, Doctors, Engineers and Bureaucrats, who are earning more money, is owing to their academic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
experience struggle.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
ought to be liable to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, due to their critical role in the prosperity of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and their educational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
background.

On the other hand
, the opponents of the former view argue that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a certain limit and control on such behemoth pays and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is a serious burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and is not a wise financial decision,
especially
for underdeveloped nations.
That is
to say, less fortunate nations are already in financial debt, as they are acquiring
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
support and loans from other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
;
thus
,
ultimately
, it is unreasonable and not viable for them for opt to pay such enormous amounts to certain employers.
For instance
, a Judge monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is minimum $15000 in Pakistan, which is
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
to them through the tax-payer’s money, imposing to them in the form of overwhelming taxes.
Therefore
, it is unjustifiable to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pays to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals, owing to the burden it causes on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economic sector.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is beneficial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is detrimental for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, as it is resulting in strain on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
finance.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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