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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.1

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 1
Many nations allow anyone to earn as much possible as they can and does not hinder in their monetary gains. However, there are countries, where authorized organizations are responsible for designing the range of salary structure of all the working class. Many people believe that this process is better. I fully concur with the notion that people can earn any amount and should not face any hindrance from own government. It is irrefutable to say that private firms are exploiting the employees in order to achieve a higher profit. These companies replace the experienced human resources with the freshers over lower salaries irrespective of knowing the social responsibilities. Therefore, in this case, the labour unions come into play a vital role and also give the uniformity in salaries depending upon the skill and age. Furthermore, it has been observed that the work environment of these countries is quite healthy and people focus on work rather than indulging them in office politics that lead to jealous and egoistic colleagues. On the other hand, it has been seen that when salaries are uniform the workers tend to lose the zeal to work diligently and not put the required effort in order to get work done. To add on, there is no extra learning when there is no extra earning. Thus, it becomes quite a tedious task to run the business when employees show no more confidence in doing good work. Moreover, the government gets more tax if they have more salaried citizens. To recapitulate, there are own pros and cons of the approaches. However, the governments should focus on providing the process wherein the interest of the employees are not disturbed; instead of this, the people should encourage to earn without any barrier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
anyone to earn as much possible as they can and does not hinder in their monetary gains.
However
, there are countries, where authorized organizations are responsible for designing the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
structure of all the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this process is better. I
fully
concur with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn any amount and should not face any hindrance from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

It is irrefutable to say that private firms are exploiting the employees in order to achieve a higher profit. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
replace the experienced human resources with the freshers over lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
irrespective of knowing the social responsibilities.
Therefore
,
in this case
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
unions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into play a vital role and
also
give the uniformity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
depending upon the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and age.
Furthermore
, it has
been observed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment of these countries is quite healthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than indulging them in office politics that lead to jealous and egoistic colleagues.

On the other hand
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are uniform the workers tend to lose the zeal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
diligently
and not put the required effort in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, there is no extra learning when there is no extra earning.
Thus
, it becomes quite a tedious task to run the business when employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
no more confidence in doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more tax if they have more salaried citizens.

To recapitulate, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons of the approaches.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should focus on providing the process wherein the interest of the employees are not disturbed;
instead
of this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should encourage
Did you mean "earning"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to earn
without any barrier.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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