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in some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

The disparity of wages caused certain people to argue that the government ought to step up and set limitaions and control on those high earned wages, while others believe that this would create economic opportunities for the country. To set control or to not set control on the maximum salary earned is the dilemma in this essay and in my opinion, I disagree that the government control on salaries should be implemented. Controlling the high salaries earned by certain individuals would have some serious drawbacks, one of those is the negative effect it will have on the economy as purchasing power will diminish and and as such luxury items will have to be dicontinued. For instance, if buyers of yachts and luxury cars are non-existant with the wage-control imposed by the government then this will lead to high unemployment rate in this field. Thus, this will affect not only the sales person but it will reach to the whole company from the manufacturing to production to the management level, therefore the rate of unemployment will reach to about 20% of the country’s employment rate. This would suggest that through the wages control set by the government would lead the economic failure and high unemployment rate. On the other hand, uncontrolled salries would create an economic boost for the country, by creating job opportunites to cater to the needs of the mega-rich and thus spending more money would boost the economy of said country. For example, the cost of the real estate business in the gated communities and private jets would vary from 10 million dollars to 50 million dollars, by having spent that much money would not only pay the wages of the real estate broker, the construction worker, the materials by which the house was built same thing for the private jets that amount paid would go to the flight attendents, the pilot, the jet maker and so on, the list continues for the people affected by the high earned salaries of some. Thus, by not controlling the extremely high salaries of some, would lead to create so much job opportunites for so many others. In Conclusion, from my point of view the advantages of the uncontrolled amount of salaries earned are by far more evident than the disadvantages. Therefore the government should not control and limit the amount of wages earned.
The disparity of wages caused certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to step up and set
Possible spelling mistake found.
limitaions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
wages, while others believe that this would create economic opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
or to not set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
on the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
is the dilemma in this essay and in my opinion, I disagree that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
should
be implemented
.

Controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
by certain individuals would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious drawbacks, one of those is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect it will have on the economy as purchasing power will diminish
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
as such luxury items will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicontinued
.
For instance
, if buyers of yachts and luxury cars are
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-existant
with the wage-control imposed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
then this will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
unemployment rate in this field.
Thus
, this will affect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the sales person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will reach to the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
from the manufacturing to production to the management level,
therefore
the rate of unemployment will reach to about 20% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
employment rate. This would suggest that through the wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
set by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would lead the economic failure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
unemployment rate.

On the other hand
, uncontrolled
Possible spelling mistake found.
salries
would create an economic boost for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, by creating job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
to cater to the needs of the mega-rich and
thus
spending more money would boost the economy of said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, the cost of the real estate business in the gated communities and private jets would vary from 10 million dollars to 50 million dollars, by having spent that much money would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay the wages of the real estate broker, the construction worker, the materials by which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was built
same thing for the private jets that amount paid would go to the flight
Possible spelling mistake found.
attendents
, the pilot, the jet maker and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, the list continues for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.
Thus
, by not controlling the
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, would lead to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.

In Conclusion
, from my point of view the advantages of the uncontrolled amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
are by far more evident than the disadvantages.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
and limit the amount of wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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