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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others think that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.28

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others think that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. 28
One of the most controversial issues today relates to the fact that some individuals are remunerated too high in numerous countries. Although authorities should restrain the level of people’s incomes, I agree with those believing that the majority of individuals, who receive high wage, might support the overall development of the host country. To begin with, remuneration level should be controlled by councils so as to safeguard social stability. Initially, It will help demolish the income gap between the rich and poor. As there is a close relationship between residents’ revenue and the cost of living, if some of them earn very high salaries, the price of daily goods can be boosted suddenly. Moreover, thanks to disciplining personal incomes for, government enables to allocate money to social welfare programs such as health care and education services. These offer strong proof that the revenue curb of authorities plays a regulatory role in ensuring a sustainable balance of societies. On top of that, it is undeniable that by virtue of the growth of people who are paid high salaries will bring many benefits to the country. Firstly, Remunerating high wages to academic employees can inspire their creation. For instance, because of being paid high recompenses, scientists are provided favourable conditions to research and seek novel invention to improve living standard. Furthermore, paying high salaries to talent employments will encourage people to do the same. For example, in an office, white-collars will try to keep up with their better co-workers to increase their achievement. To sum up, although personal incomes should be limited by government, I totally believe that a high remuneration will create the particular advantages to the increase of country.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
are remunerated
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
in numerous countries. Although authorities should restrain the level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those believing that the majority of individuals, who receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage, might support the
overall
development of the host country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, remuneration level should
be controlled
by councils
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
safeguard social stability.
Initially
, It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
demolish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
gap between the rich and poor. As there is a close relationship between residents’ revenue and the cost of living, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries, the price of daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can
be boosted
suddenly
.
Moreover
, thanks to disciplining personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
for,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enables to allocate money to social welfare programs such as health care and education services. These offer strong proof that the revenue curb of authorities plays a regulatory role in ensuring a sustainable balance of societies.

On top of that
, it is undeniable that by virtue of the growth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to the country.
Firstly
, Remunerating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages to academic employees can inspire their creation.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
recompenses, scientists
are provided
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
conditions to research and seek novel invention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
living standard.
Furthermore
, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries to talent employments will encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do the same.
For example
, in an office, white-collars will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with their better co-workers to increase their achievement.

To sum up, although personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
should
be limited
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, I
totally
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
remuneration will create the particular advantages to the increase of country.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others think that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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