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in some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v.8

Teenage is best time to learn about what to do, what no to do. However, in the USA, in few areas have a restriction for teenager and teenager is not allow to be alone out of home at a certain time at night unless they have their parents or guardian with them. Since it has some advantages and disadvantages so let me discuss both point of view before takes any decision. On the one hand, teenage is the age when most of the people make mistake. However, night is the most certain time when most of the criminal activities happen. For example, drug mafia, rubbery, sexual abuse and other crime happen in night time. Whatever, most of the mafia need new customer and their main choose is teenage because in this age anyone can motivate easily and everyone always attracted by bad things. So, if we want to make our young generation safe and secure then need to make some boundary. On the other hand, every person has their own freedom. To go outside anytime is a right for every person, teenagers are not exception to them. Also, different family has different situations to lead life. For example, lots of parents work on hospital or police or other emergency services that time those family’s teenager need something, so they should have right to go outside without adult. Also, if teenager can safe problem then they will fit for their future life. In conclusion, I would like to say, if we can make teenager understand which is good and which is bad then they can aware of it and they may safe themselves anytime. In my opinion, since in this age most of the teenager make lots of mistake and they always attract by new things so, to make them safe and secure, I think, it is a good idea not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night without adults.
Teenage
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn about what to do, what
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
to do.
However
, in the USA, in few areas have a restriction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
is not
Consider using a past participle here: "allowed".
allow
to be alone out of home at a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
unless they have their parents or guardian with them. Since it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me discuss both point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
takes any decision.

On the one hand, teenage is the age when most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
mistake.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
is the most certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when most of the criminal activities happen.
For example
, drug mafia, rubbery, sexual abuse and other crime happen in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Whatever, most of the mafia need new customer and their main choose is teenage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this age anyone can motivate
easily
and everyone always attracted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our young generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
and secure then need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
boundary.

On the other hand
, every person has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
freedom. To go outside anytime is a right for every person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not exception to them.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
family has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations to lead life.
For example
, lots of parents work on hospital or police or other emergency services that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Did you mean "this family" or "those families"?
those family
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
need something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should have right to go outside without adult.
Also
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
can
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
problem then they will fit for their future life.

In conclusion
, I would like to say, if we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
understand which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
then they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can aware
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they may
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
themselves anytime. In my opinion, since in this age most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Possible agreement error. The noun mistake seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of mistakes".
lots of mistake
and they always attract by new things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
and secure, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to be out of doors after a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
without adults.
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IELTS essay In some areas of the US a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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