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In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v.2

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 2
In few cities of America, the law of curfew prohibits the movement of the younger people, especially at nights. While the primary purpose of a curfew is to stop igniting the individuals from creating more protests, teens’ roaming at night without the company of any guardian is not permitted by the US government. I, therefore, slightly agree with the notion of not allowing a certain aged-people to be outside. Ban solely on the movement of teenagers during night time in a dangerous situation doesn’t generate any fruitful outcomes. In addition, economic situation of a country gets affected because many people, who are students, can’t work anymore in a night-shift duty. As an illustration, a growing number of Indian night restaurants made a full-stop in their business for not finding any cheap yet energetic labors during a long 6-month curfew in 2015. Hence, the provisions of the arrangements have to be clarified before putting an abrupt decision. Of crucial importance, in my opinion, is that student-led movements tend to be occurred at a regular basis in curfew. Furthermore, as the young generation is not calm as the matured adult, the rates of occurrence by teenagers seems to be quite higher. For example, 75% of the crime rate caused by less aged citizens when the Bangladesh authority did not put any regulation on the teens. Consequently, parents should be with their children when they are outside at curfew nights. Will the policy of a curfew speak louder than violence? To conclude with, I’m inclined to restate that more man-made incidents will be inevitable if allowing the young minds out of their houses at night remains in charge.
In few cities of America, the law of
curfew
prohibits the movement of the younger
people
,
especially
at
nights
. While the primary purpose of a
curfew
is to
stop
igniting the individuals from creating more protests, teens’ roaming at
night
without the
company
of any guardian is not permitted by the US
government
. I,
therefore
,
slightly
agree
with the notion of not allowing a certain aged-
people
to be outside.

Ban
solely
on the movement of
teenagers
during
night time
in a
dangerous
situation doesn’t generate any fruitful outcomes.
In addition
, economic situation of a country
gets
affected
because
many
people
, who are students, can’t work
anymore
in a night-shift duty. As an illustration, a growing number of Indian
night
restaurants made a full-
stop
in their business for not finding any
cheap
yet
energetic labors during a long 6-month
curfew
in 2015.
Hence
, the provisions of the arrangements
have to
be clarified
before
putting an abrupt decision.

Of crucial importance, in my opinion, is that student-led movements tend to
be occurred
at a regular basis in
curfew
.
Furthermore
, as the young generation is not calm as the matured adult, the rates of occurrence by
teenagers
seems to be quite higher.
For example
, 75% of the crime rate caused by less aged citizens when the Bangladesh authority did not put any regulation on the teens.
Consequently
, parents should be with their children when they are outside at
curfew
nights.

Will the policy of a
curfew
speak louder than violence?
To conclude
with, I’m inclined to restate that more
man
-made incidents will be inevitable if allowing the young minds out of their
houses
at
night
remains in charge.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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