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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this. v.31

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this. v. 31
It is often considered by some that youngsters should not be allowed to stay outside after dawn, while there are others who think that it is acceptable for teenagers to roam around at night if a guardian is accompanying them. In my opinion, I believe that such practices must be encouraged as teenage is a period where children can venture in the wrong direction, it becomes imperative to keep a close eye on them. Firstly, the reason to impose a curfew on children is due to the fact that parents are concerned about the safety and well being of their children. In other words, as young children are easily affected by a negative influence, the chance of them getting into bad habits increases. Secondly, during the daytime as a teenager is under the close supervision of a teacher at school, the negative forces come out at night and try to lure kids to indulge in bad habits such as rape, drugs and violence. Consequently, a child can also become a part of any evil practice, thereby putting their lives in danger. Another point to consider is that a young mind does not have the capability to distinguish between right and wrong. In other words, a child will learn what is taught to him. Moreover, under a wrong influence, a teenager will think that committing crime is acceptable, which might lead to dangerous consequences in future. To avoid such situations, parental interference becomes inevitable to impart the right knowledge to teenagers. To conclude, young minds have the potential to commit to a crime as well as the innocence to be a part of a crime. Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of the parents to accompany them as much as possible until they understand the true meaning of correct and incorrect.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that youngsters should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to stay outside after dawn, while there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is acceptable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to roam around at night if a guardian is accompanying them. In my opinion, I believe that such practices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
as teenage is a period where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can venture in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close eye on them.

Firstly
, the reason to impose a curfew on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is due to the fact that parents
are concerned
about the safety and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In other words
, as young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence, the chance of them getting into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits increases.
Secondly
, during the daytime as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is under the close supervision of a teacher at school, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
forces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out at night and try to lure kids to indulge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as rape, drugs and violence.
Consequently
, a child can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a part of any evil practice, thereby putting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Another point to consider is that a young mind does not have the capability to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
In other words
, a child will learn what
is taught
to him.
Moreover
, under a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
influence, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that committing crime is acceptable, which might lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
consequences
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. To avoid such situations, parental interference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
inevitable to impart the right knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

To conclude
, young minds have the potential to commit to a crime
as well
as the innocence to be a part of a crime.
Therefore
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the responsibility of the parents to accompany them as much as possible until they understand the true meaning of correct and incorrect.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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