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Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at a university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. v.3

Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at a university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. v. 3
In this contemporary world, tertiary education has become immensely popular. To pursue higher studies, several students start living in a new city, whereas some students still stay with their families. Both options of living have some benefits and shortcomings, which will be discussed in this essay. Living with a family has some clear advantages that make it the prime choice for students around the world. Pupils can properly concentrate on their studies as they need not participate in different household activities such as grocery, cleaning and paying utility bills. Being free from such household chores allows the students to allocate more time in studies which is likely to result in higher academic grades. However, the distance between the family residence and the university may become the major problem for staying with family. Statistics suggest that 80% of university students in the USA enrolled form distant cities or countries. If those students chose to continue their education from home, it would be impossible for them to find a standard educational institution at hometown. On the other hand, shifting to a new place for education tends to have some benefits. Students can learn many life skills when living alone, which help them prosper in their professional life. With such self-dependent citizens, a country is likely to achieve its optimum growth backed by its human capital. Nevertheless, difficulty to maintain the remaining living costs appeared to be as a threat to living alone in a new city for education. As a result, many students need to engage in a part-time job to keep up their residential expenses at the cost of their study time. Poor academic grades, dropouts are some of the instances arise from shifting in another city. In summary, both of the living methods of university students have some pros and cons. Therefore, students should select their living options cautiously to avoid or minimize the disadvantages
In this contemporary world, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has become
immensely
popular. To pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a new city, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
still
stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Both options of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and shortcomings, which will
be discussed
in this essay.

Living with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it the prime choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
around the world. Pupils can
properly
concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as they need not participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
household activities such as grocery, cleaning and paying utility bills. Being free from such household chores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to allocate more time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
which is likely to result in higher academic grades.
However
, the distance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
residence and the university may become the major problem for staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Statistics suggest that 80% of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the USA enrolled form distant cities or countries. If those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
chose to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from home, it would be impossible for them to find a standard educational institution at hometown.

On the other hand
, shifting to a new place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
tends to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them prosper in their professional life. With such self-dependent citizens, a country is likely to achieve its optimum growth backed by its human capital.
Nevertheless
, difficulty to maintain the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
costs appeared to be as a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone in a new city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to engage in a part-time job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up their residential expenses at the cost of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
time. Poor academic grades, dropouts are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
instances arise from shifting in another city.

In summary, both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
methods of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should select their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
options
cautiously
to avoid or minimize the disadvantages
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at a university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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