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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.52

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 52
Today, tourism is playing a prominent role in any country. Many tourists like to visit different thrill places, such as the Antarctic and the Sahara desert. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the venues which have challenging conditions. There are two primary reasons why more and more travellers choose adventurous destinations. Firstly, it increases countries' economy. Many foreigners see such places and they spend more money so countries' financial level rise. For instance, Thailand's financial system depends on the visitors. Secondly, the unemployment rate goes down. Many restaurants and parks open near tourist places. In addition to this, many local people work as a tour guide. One research article suggests that the Statue of Unity which is located near Kevadiya colony, Gujarat so the development of Kevadiya colony rises up. Overall, tourists increase financial system and decrease unemployment rate. On the other hand, the level of water goes down. If the number of visitors increases, use of aqua will go up as well. For example, in Jaisalmer desert, due to the visitors, the use of aqua increases. Another reason is garbage. When tourists come to see the places, they throw plastic bottles and other wastage. To illustrate, many people visit the Akshardham temple, but tourists throw waste materials where they stay there. Overall, visitors create two major problems which are water and garbage. This essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of tourists. In summary, the benefits include that economy increases and unemployment rate decreases while the disadvantages cover water level goes down and garbage increases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, tourism is playing a prominent role in any country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
like to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thrill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, such as the Antarctic and the Sahara desert. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of the venues which have challenging conditions.

There are two primary reasons why more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
choose adventurous destinations.
Firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
countries' economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
foreigners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
such
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
places and
they spend more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
countries' financial level rise.
For instance
, Thailand's financial system depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Secondly
, the unemployment rate goes down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
restaurants and parks open near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work as a tour guide. One research article suggests that the Statue of Unity which
is located
near
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kevadiya
colony, Gujarat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kevadiya
colony rises up.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
financial system and decrease unemployment rate.

On the other hand
, the level of water goes down. If the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of aqua will go up
as well
.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaisalmer
desert, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of aqua
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
. Another reason is garbage. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, they throw plastic bottles and other wastage. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Akshardham
temple,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
throw waste materials where they stay there.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
create two major problems which are water and garbage.

This essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. In summary, the benefits include that economy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
and unemployment rate decreases while the disadvantages cover water level goes down and garbage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 52

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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