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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages. v.22

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages. v. 22
Advancements in digital technology have changed the nature of shopping. A growing number of people prefer to buy the products which they need. While online shopping is both time-saving and cost-effective, it has some disadvantages, including information theft as well as a virtual practice. On the one hand, there are some advantages in associated with shopping online. Firstly, people do not have to spend their valuable time and energy on an online store, which provide shoppers with a feature of quick search in a particular keyword, in contrast to a physical store. For example, an average shopper spends 2 hours these days by roaming in a huge shopping mall, whereas an online shopper is able to complete the shopping task by typing a few keywords in the search area. Secondly, it is known that online stores offer huge discounts for the online shoppers, especially on special days such as Mother’s Day, New Year Eve, and Valentine’s Day. Thus, it is clear that online shopping has indisputable advantages. On the other hand, despite the advantages of shopping online, there are also a number of disadvantages. Online shoppers have become the most attracting target of cyber hackers, which can steal the personal information (credit card, bank account, identity) of people who go shopping online. These criminals, for instance, stole nearly 500 million dollars between 2017 and 2018, according to the official statistics. In addition, online shopping occurs in a virtual world. As a result, people, who go shopping in this world, are not able either to touch or try products which they plan to buy and the majority of online stores do not guarantee the product change service. Therefore, it goes without saying that cyber threats and the virtual nature of this online practice are disadvantageous for consumers. In conclusion, online shopping has become a new method of shopping. Although it offers some advantages, including saving time and huge discounts, the online shopping has also drawbacks such as online hacking and the lack of interaction with products, which result from its virtual nature.
Advancements in digital technology have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. A growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which they need. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is both time-saving and cost-effective, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, including information theft
as well
as a virtual practice.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their valuable time and energy on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
with a feature of quick search in a particular keyword,
in contrast
to a physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
.
For example
, an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopper
spends 2 hours these days by roaming in a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall, whereas an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopper
is able to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
task by typing a few keywords in the search area.
Secondly
, it
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
offer huge discounts for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
,
especially
on special days such as Mother’s Day, New Year Eve, and Valentine’s Day.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has indisputable advantages.

On the other hand
, despite the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, there are
also
a number of disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
have become the most attracting target of cyber hackers, which can steal the personal information (credit card, bank account, identity) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. These criminals,
for instance
, stole
nearly
500 million dollars between 2017 and 2018, according to the official statistics.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
occurs in a virtual world.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in this world, are not able either to touch or try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which they plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
do not guarantee the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
service.
Therefore
, it goes without saying that cyber threats and the virtual nature of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
practice are disadvantageous for consumers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become a new method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Although it offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, including saving time and huge discounts, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
also
drawbacks such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
hacking and the lack of interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which result from its virtual nature.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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