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In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.30

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 30
In some parts of the world, children below the age of 20 are prohibited from going out after a certain hour after sunset unless a responsible adult, accompanied them or a family member because of the upsurge of the violence rate recently. It is agreed that such a measure is paramount to ensure the safety of society's members. To begin with, perhaps the main reason is to avert atrocious incidents. In other words, criminals thrive at night and teenagers are an easy target for mugging or kidnapping. For example, an article published by " The Guardian" the police reported the 20 % of night crime victims are the helpless young people. However, this percentage can reach to zero if an adult was present. Thus, the law prevents them from wandering at night in high crime areas without a grown man in an attempt to deter criminals from targeting them. Another salient contributing factor is the nature of teenagers is adventurous, daring and keen to experience the danger and this can have dire consequences. The miscreants or notorious elements can allure them to carry out acts of terrorism. To illustrate, a renowned psychologist interprets the increase number of young people in illegal activities in the absence of supervision of adults who can provide them with wisdom. As a consequence, if not for the law, more teenagers would become delinquents. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate my view that curfew has valid rationales as far as safety is a prime concern. It is predicted that more countries with high crime rates would impose the same law.
In
some
parts of the world, children below the age of 20
are prohibited
from going out after a certain hour after sunset unless a responsible adult, accompanied them or a family member
because
of the upsurge of the violence rate recently. It is
agreed
that such a measure is paramount to ensure the safety of society's members.

To
begin
with, perhaps the main reason is to avert atrocious incidents.
In other words
, criminals thrive at night and
teenagers
are an easy target for mugging or kidnapping.
For example
, an article published by
"
The Guardian
"
the police reported the 20 % of night crime victims are the helpless young
people
.
However
, this percentage can reach to zero if an adult was present.
Thus
, the law
prevents
them from wandering at night in high crime areas without a grown
man
in an attempt to deter criminals from targeting them.

Another salient contributing factor is the nature of
teenagers
is adventurous, daring and keen to experience the
danger
and this can have dire consequences. The miscreants or notorious elements can allure them to carry out acts of terrorism. To illustrate, a renowned psychologist interprets the increase number of young
people
in illegal activities in the absence of supervision of adults who can provide them with wisdom. As a consequence, if not for the law, more
teenagers
would become delinquents.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate my view that curfew has valid rationales as far as safety is a prime concern. It
is predicted
that more countries with high crime rates would impose the same law.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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