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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.44

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 44
Most of the recruiters often ask their applicants certain questions related to their personal interests and background. Many of us believe such questions are related to the jobs we are applying for, while some believe they are irrelevant. In my view, it is important that the hiring organisation knows our personal details as long as they use them appropriately. It is important for the organisation to collect such data about their prospective employees. If the hiring manager knows that one is married, or enjoys a hobby, it helps them in decisions such as deployment of that particular staff to remote locations or to projects that might be related to their interests. For instance, if your recruiter knows you love soccer and there is a project in the company that involves visits to soccer stadiums, then it helps him in involving you in that project as it motivates you and also, benefits the company. Some might argue that such details about oneself is not relevant when it come to the hiring organisation. This is because of the fear of misuse of such data and possible problems that might arise if they are not maintained confidentially. For example, if your personal information is accessible to someone who is trying to compete with you, he/ she might use it against you. To conclude, personal details of the applicant play an important role in decision making for the employers. Although, they can be a threat to the job seeker at times, if not managed confidentially.
Most of the recruiters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
ask their applicants certain questions related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interests and background.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of us believe such questions
are related
to the jobs we are applying for, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe they are irrelevant. In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the hiring
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
knows our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
as long as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
appropriately
.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to collect such data about their prospective employees. If the hiring manager knows that one
is married
, or enjoys a hobby, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in decisions such as deployment of that particular staff to remote locations or to projects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be related
to their interests.
For instance
, if your recruiter knows you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
soccer and there is a project in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that involves visits to soccer stadiums, then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him in involving you in that project as it motivates you and
also
, benefits the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
argue that such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about oneself is not relevant when it
Did you mean "comes"?
come
to the hiring
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fear of misuse of such data and possible problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
arise if they are not maintained
confidentially
.
For example
, if your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information is accessible to someone who is trying to compete with you, he/ she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it against you.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the applicant play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
for the employers. Although, they can be a threat to the job seeker at times, if not managed
confidentially
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 44

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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