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Science will soon make people live up to 100 years or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Science will soon make people live up to 100 years or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 2
Science has played an integral part in the life of people that enlarge the expected rate of them on earth. It is believed by some that would benefit the society in multifarious ways, whereas others argue that it may cause detrimental effects to the human race. In this essay, I shall elucidate why I disagree with the viewpoint of having increased a life span. Some pros could assess while evaluating the role of science in human life. People can live up to 100 years or even 200 years, which is possible as a result of immense developments in the field of medication around the globe. Consequently, juveniles have hired an abundance of knowledge from experienced hands. Hence, the success rate of the business would be enhanced and also reap marketing strategies towards the rival firm, which were already processed by the seniors in the early period of time. To cite an example, a recent article in the newspaper clearly states that the mortality rate of the developing countries declined by 55% as attributed to the past data owing to the advancement in the hospitality sector. However, the drawbacks to the environment are uncountable while they live long. One of the logical things is that they become a burden to the family members by securing or catering. They are also exhausted by age-related health problems and even they could not do any routine chores properly without having a bystander. In addition to this, the government has to arrange more living space for them in spite of the rising population. For instance, experts suggest that it would absolutely affect the food chain of other species, which leads to the situation more chaotic. To sum up, even though the invaluable service from the geriatric is worth giving, I believe that demerits outweigh the benefits in the means of medical expenses and as a burden to their near one.
Science has played an integral part in the life of
people
that enlarge the
expected
rate of them on earth. It
is believed
by
some
that would benefit the society in multifarious ways, whereas others argue that it may cause detrimental effects to the human race. In this essay, I shall elucidate why I disagree with the viewpoint of having increased a life span.

Some
pros could assess while evaluating the role of science in human life.
People
can
live
up to 100 years or even 200 years, which is possible
as a result
of immense developments in the field of medication around the globe.
Consequently
, juveniles have hired an abundance of knowledge from experienced hands.
Hence
, the success rate of the business would
be enhanced
and
also
reap marketing strategies towards the rival firm, which were already processed by the seniors in the early period of time. To cite an example, a recent article in the newspaper
clearly
states that the mortality rate of the
developing countries
declined by 55% as attributed to the past data owing to the advancement in the hospitality sector.

However
, the drawbacks to the environment are uncountable while they
live
long. One of the logical things is that they become a burden to the family members by securing or catering. They are
also
exhausted by age-related health problems and even they could not do any routine chores
properly
without having a bystander.
In addition
to this, the
government
has to
arrange more living space for them
in spite of
the rising population.
For instance
, experts suggest that it would
absolutely
affect the food chain of other species, which leads to the situation more chaotic.

To sum up,
even though
the invaluable service from the geriatric is worth giving, I believe that demerits outweigh the benefits in the means of medical expenses and as a burden to their near one.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Science will soon make people live up to 100 years or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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