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In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.24

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 24
Nowadays, Curfew is becoming a debatable issue in the United States of America. Unless they are accompanied by an adult, Children are not allowed to go out after a particular time. In my opinion, this curfew is quite reasonable because teens are unable to protect themselves from evil deeds. Adults do not let their children be out of the door after particular hours. However, teenagers are strongly opposed to this because they think that it is against their freedom and privacy. Also, they try their best to escape themselves from their parents’ eyes and move out for fun late at night. For example, research in Washington shows that about 86 percent of adolescents prefer late-night outdoor parties rather than sleeping at home. Moreover, they demand that this curfew should be stopped because they are mature enough and do not involve in any type of evil activities. Therefore, youths are demanding that such type to a curfew which bound them within one place and never allows them to go out after a set time should be prohibited. Besides, children who are under 15 are not permitted to hang out after a fixed time without the company of an adult because so many miscreants and peccadillos are wandering on streets late night so these innocent and immature teenagers are proving as easy targets for them. However, they used these children for their unfair and evil deeds because they thought that these children are easy to tackle. For instance, in San Francisco, almost 67 percent of teens are reported to be involved in crime base activities such as robbery, terrorism, snatching, and rape. So, it is very essential to keep youth inside the houses under the supervision of adults after a particular time at night or allow them to go out only in the presence of their parents. In many states of America, to impose a curfew has become a hot and challenging topic these days. Children prefer personal freedom as compared to their security. However, children are not allowed to go out to mitigating crime and criminals. According to me, children above 15 should have the choice to do whatever they like, but children under 15 should be kept under the supervision of adults.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Curfew
is becoming a debatable issue in the United States of America. Unless they
are accompanied
by an adult,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out after a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
is quite reasonable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
teens are unable to protect themselves from evil deeds.

Adults do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be out of the door after particular hours.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
strongly
opposed to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is against their freedom and privacy.
Also
, they try their best to escape themselves from their parents’ eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out for fun late at night.
For example
, research in Washington
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that about 86 percent of adolescents prefer late-night outdoor parties
rather
than sleeping at home.
Moreover
, they demand that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and do not involve in any type of evil activities.
Therefore
, youths are demanding that such type to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
which bound them within one place and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to go out after a set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be prohibited
.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are under 15 are not permitted to hang out after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of an adult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
miscreants and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "peccadilloes", the plural form of the noun 'peccadillo'?
peccadillos
are wandering on streets late night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these innocent and immature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are proving as easy targets for them.
However
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their unfair and evil deeds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are easy to tackle.
For instance
, in San Francisco, almost 67 percent of teens
are reported
to
be involved
in crime base activities such as robbery, terrorism, snatching, and rape.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
youth inside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
under the supervision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
after a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at night or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to go out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the presence of their parents.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states of America, to impose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
has become a hot and challenging topic these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
prefer personal freedom as compared to their security.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out to mitigating crime and criminals.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
above 15 should have the choice to do whatever they like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under 15 should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
under the supervision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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