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Some people say that noise made by people should be strictly controlled while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that noise made by people should be strictly controlled while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. v. 1
People often argued that noise made by people better to be controlled an optimal level. Whilst other thinks that making noise has to be unlimited. I believe that some kind of noise should be controlled by law, while the other specific noise should not be controlled. On the one hand, making an intolerable noise from people should be limited by law. In other word, party noise, too loud music, or violent noise at night are need to be controlled by local noise legislation. Furthermore, if there is too much noise people could not relax at home and this situation could lead to health problems. To be exemplified, the current study shows that respondents who live in noisy district are likely to affect disease more than other areas. Thus, it is better to control some kind of noise. However, some specific noise should not be limited such as, noise from the kids play, daytime exercise noise. Moreover, people need to relax and having a whale of time with kids and doing sports in order to healthy and happy living. For instance, people who do sport activities, live more well and longer than others do not. Making some kind of noise should not be limited. In conclusion, despite noise from kids and sport activity, inappropriate noise needs to be controlled by residential noise regulation. If there is no control over noise, it will be terrible to living in the big cities for the reason that city dwellers living in density environment. People should clarify the differences between what noise can be allowed and what cannot.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
better to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
an optimal level. Whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be unlimited
. I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
by law, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should not
be controlled
.

On the one hand, making an intolerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be limited
by law. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, too loud music, or violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
at night
are need
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
by local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
legislation.
Furthermore
, if there is too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not relax at home and this situation could lead to health problems. To
be exemplified
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that respondents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in noisy district are likely to affect disease more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas.
Thus
, it is better to control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of noise.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should not
be limited
such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
from the kids play, daytime exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to relax and having a whale of time with kids and doing sports in order to healthy and happy living.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do sport activities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more well and longer than others do not. Making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should not
be limited
.

In conclusion
, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
from kids and sport activity, inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
needs to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
by residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
regulation. If there is no control over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, it will be terrible to living in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities for the reason that city dwellers living in density environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should clarify the differences between what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
and what cannot.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that noise made by people should be strictly controlled while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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