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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v.14

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 14
The topic of curfew has been controversial. some people believe that teenagers should be allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night, whereas I agree with those who think that young kids are not allowed to be out of doors at night without parents. On the one hand, it is commonly believed that some people believe that teenagers should be allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night. The most important reason to support this is the fact that teenagers can be independent. This is because they will try to learn how to protect themselves from dangers. To illustrate this, in recent news, it has been reported that some families tend to have no limited time to come back home because they would like their children to manage their life by their own. Having said that self-management plays a major role in independence. On the other hand, it seems to me that teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. One of the most significant factors is that it is too dangerous for teenagers to go out at night by themselves since teenagers are not able to protect themselves from criminals. For example, according to the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, it revealed that 80% of teenagers who are staying outside at late night without their parents tend to get an accident. This may be due to lack of awareness. Having said that curfew plays a major role in teenagers’s safety. In conclusion, having considered both sides of this issue, it is true that teenagers should be allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night because teenagers can be independent person; however, this essay agrees that it is too dangerous for teenagers to go out at night because they cannot protect themselves.
The topic of curfew has been controversial.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to be out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doors
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
, whereas I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that young kids are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to be out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doors
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
without parents.

On the one hand, it is
commonly
believed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to be out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doors
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason to support this is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be independent. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will try to learn how to protect themselves from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
. To illustrate this, in recent news, it has
been reported
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families tend to have no limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would like their children to manage their life by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Having said that self-management plays a major role in independence.

On the other hand
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to be out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doors
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
unless they
are accompanied
by an adult. One of the most significant factors is that it is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to go out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
by themselves since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not able to protect themselves from criminals.
For example
, according to the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, it revealed that 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who are staying outside at late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
without their parents tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an accident. This may be due to lack of awareness. Having said that curfew plays a major role in
Did you mean "teenager’s" or "teenagers’"?
teenagers’s
safety.

In conclusion
, having considered both sides of this issue, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowed
to be out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doors
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be independent person;
however
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that it is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to go out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot protect themselves.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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