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In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by youngpeople in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by youngpeople in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
It must be accepted that nowadays, there has been a significant increase in episodes of offences committed by the young especially in the urban areas. This is a fearful situation. There are many reasons for such a situation; however, a few productive suggestions can solve the situation to a large extent. The causes and the measures are discussed further. Examining the reasons, the most common is to live up and enjoy the glamour of the big city. It has been observed that young people get easily obsessed with all the pleasures of urban life such as the discos, the clubs and other fun attractions. For this they need money and so to earn fast bucks, they commit a crime. The other prime reason is drugs and alcohol. Commit crime out of a strong desire to fulfil their habits. Poverty and unemployment in this age group are other driving forces for the offences. However, a few measures can really help to overcome the situation. The most important step is to keep strict vigilance at public places and place of entertainment. Closed circuit cameras, more police force, special police patrolling at night, for instance, can effectively help to reduce criminal activities. Another suggestion is to try and bifurcate the youth energy constructively, by organizing events such as dance competitions, treasure hunts, marathons and other fulfilled activities. Creating more part-time jobs and raising education level among young people can also help in a large way to reduce crime by the young. All in all, it can be said that certainly there are swelling numbers of crime in the meteors and cities. To live up to the glamour and earn fast money – young people commit a crime. However, strict vigilance and bifurcating youth energy can help remedy the situation. I believe, this debate must be considered on a serious note.
It
must
be
accepted
that nowadays, there has been a significant increase in episodes

of
offences
committed by the
young
especially
in the urban areas. This is a fearful situation.

There are
many
reasons for such a
situation
;
however
, a few productive suggestions can solve

the
situation
to a large extent. The causes and the measures
are discussed
further
.

Examining the reasons, the most common is to
live
up and enjoy the glamour of the

big
city. It has
been observed
that
young
people
get
easily
obsessed with all the pleasures of urban life such as the discos, the clubs and
other
fun attractions. For this they need
money


and
so
to earn
fast
bucks, they commit a
crime
. The
other
prime reason is drugs and alcohol.

Commit
crime
out of a strong desire to fulfil their habits. Poverty and unemployment in
this


age
group are
other
driving forces for the
offences
.

However
, a few measures can
really
help
to overcome the
situation
. The
most


important
step is to
keep
strict vigilance at public places and place of entertainment. Closed

circuit cameras, more police force, special police patrolling at night,
for instance
, can

effectively
help
to
reduce
criminal activities. Another suggestion is to
try and
bifurcate
the


youth energy
constructively
, by organizing
events
such as dance competitions, treasure hunts,

marathons and
other
fulfilled activities. Creating more part-time jobs and raising
education


level
among
young
people
can
also
help
in a large way
to
reduce
crime
by the young.

All in all, it can
be said
that
certainly
there are swelling numbers of
crime
in the

meteors
and cities. To
live
up to the glamour and earn
fast
money
young
people
commit a
crime
.
However
, strict vigilance and bifurcating youth energy can
help
remedy the
situation
. I

believe
, this debate
must
be considered
on a serious note.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by youngpeople in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
19 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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