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In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative? v.4

In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative? v. 4
With the advances in technology, it has immensely changed the way we live. Increasingly, families around the globe are becoming smaller and the duty of each member has been redefined, especially with increased equality between the men and women, in many modern societies. This essay will discuss the changes that can occur and why it is a good symbol. In fact, there are quite a few changes that can happen. For example, reduction in the family size is the biggest one, which can be attributed to people going elsewhere for better opportunities. For instance, it is widely known that the population in urban areas is increasing at a steady rate throughout the world, while the population in the rural areas is decreasing. Further, the role of women in the families are changing rapidly because of increasing awareness on gender equality and the influence of various activists worldwide. Even though there are a few disadvantages, the advantages of the recent changes clearly outweigh it. Because people are moving out to the developed regions, they are earning more and are better able to support their families. For example, because of large scale migration from India to other developed western nation, their dependent families back home have been able to live a better life financially. Additionally, the changes enable the kids in the nuclear families to be independent at a young age. In conclusion, I believe that the changes occurring in the family sizes and in the roles of its members can be taken as a positive sign. Not only will it make them adjust to the fast paced modern life, but also makes the world a better place to be in.
With the advances in technology, it has
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Increasingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
around the globe are becoming smaller and the duty of each member has
been redefined
,
especially
with increased equality between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern societies. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that can occur and why it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
symbol.

In fact, there are quite a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that can happen.
For example
, reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size is the biggest one, which can
be attributed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going elsewhere for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities.
For instance
, it is
widely
known that the population in urban areas is increasing at a steady rate throughout the world, while the population in the rural areas is decreasing.
Further
, the role of women in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are changing
rapidly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing awareness on gender equality and the influence of various activists worldwide.

Even though
there are a few disadvantages, the advantages of the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
clearly
outweigh it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving out to the developed regions, they are earning more and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
able to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of large scale migration from India to other developed western nation, their dependent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
back home have been able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life
financially
.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
enable the kids in the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to be independent at a young age.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
occurring in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
sizes and in the roles of its members can
be taken
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them adjust to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced modern life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the world a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to be in.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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