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In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its member are gradually changing. What kind of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v.1

In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its member are gradually changing. What kind of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 1
Nowadays, because of numerous human activities and overpopulation, the environment is on the verge of being destroyed. In the opinion of experts from both developed and developing countries, instead of finding a solution to rectify the drastic climate change, we should deem new methods of living with this substantial condition. According to my verdict, the idea of not untangling the extreme climatic change is completely preposterous, but for short term trying to accommodate is not entirely wrong. Firstly, unraveling the climate condition caused abundant money and handful of resources, which could be unendurable for developing countries. Moreover, rectifying the environmental issues that caused climate change could be very time-consuming and hectic. Although human survival is directly dependent on climate condition, various life threatening issues are also existed which demand hotfoot solution. For example, the contagious and life threatening disease corona virus needs more attention to make the vaccine and be curable. Because of this disease the death rate is 56%, and it is very alarmingly high than death rate due to climate changes. Verily, there are other serious issues that need urgent solution, but the idea of not taking measures to control climate hazards is completely outrageous. Extreme climate change not only dangerous for human survival, but also for animals and other natural habitat. For instance, the Forest fires in Australia and many other regions which disturb the natural ecosystem of many animals, are the result of extreme climate changes. Legislation and serious measures should be done by government to prevent and rectify drastic climate changes. Furthermore, climate problem leads to many severe problems like water depletion, shortage of natural resources, and environmental pollution. To conclude, the idea of not preventing extreme climate problems is wholly ridiculous.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of numerous human activities and overpopulation, the environment is on the verge of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
. In the opinion of experts from both developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
instead
of finding a solution to rectify the drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, we should deem new methods of living with this substantial condition. According to my verdict, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of not untangling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
climatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is completely preposterous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for short term trying to accommodate is not
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

Firstly
, unraveling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
condition caused abundant money and handful of resources, which could be unendurable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
Moreover
, rectifying the environmental issues that caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
time-consuming and hectic. Although human survival is
directly
dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
condition, various life threatening issues are
also
existed which demand hotfoot solution.
For example
, the contagious and life threatening disease
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
needs more attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the vaccine and be curable.
Because of this
disease the death rate is 56%, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
alarmingly
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
high
than death rate due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Verily
, there are other serious issues that need urgent solution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of not taking measures to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
hazards is completely outrageous.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for human survival,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for animals and other natural habitat.
For instance
, the Forest fires in Australia and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other regions which disturb the natural ecosystem of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animals, are the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. Legislation and serious measures should
be done
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and rectify drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
problem leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
severe problems like water depletion, shortage of natural resources, and environmental pollution.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of not preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
problems is wholly ridiculous.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its member are gradually changing. What kind of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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