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Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places and how to increase its popularity? v.2

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places and how to increase its popularity? v. 2
The modern day life is significantly influenced by television, and the impact is more pronounced on the children who spend more time in watching it compared to reading the books. Both have their role in the grooming and the education of the kids, but formal elements like books cannot be replaced by the modern gadgets. On the one hand, children get a lot of knowledge and information through the television. For instance, they can actively participate in different quiz competitions and remain aware of daily events in the world. Furthermore, they come to know about the success stories of the globe. This leads to inspiration and a sense of competition. With this much in the background, consequently, they perform well in their schools and keep an aim to prosper in life. However, there is a great waste of time, hence if such a trend remained unchecked it causes negligence in homework. Resultantly the students are unable to cope with their fellows in studies. On the other hand, reading the books remain an important element in examinations and for grades. Replacing books with other modes of learning, means putting the kids quite away from the curriculum, which is the basis of tests and positions. Moreover, the books give a detailed insight into various complex procedures and cycles, so their studies remain important. Although, latest tools are making more room in schools, but books cannot be completely replaced by them. For example, the Cambridge university has maintained the formal paper based learning tools side by side the online methods. In conclusion, both television and books have their role in the learning process of the children, but the ultimate significance of books cannot be overruled by the television, so, the parents and teachers should keep checks on time distribution.
The modern day life is
significantly
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, and the impact is more pronounced on the children who spend more time in watching it compared to reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Both have their role in the grooming and the education of the kids,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
formal elements like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
cannot
be replaced
by the modern gadgets.

On the one hand, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge and information through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
For instance
, they can
actively
participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
quiz competitions and remain aware of daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the world.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the success stories of the globe. This leads to inspiration and a sense of competition. With this much in the background,
consequently
, they perform well in their schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an aim to prosper in life.
However
, there is a great waste of time,
hence
if such a trend remained unchecked it causes negligence in homework.
Resultantly
the students are unable to cope with their fellows in studies.

On the other hand
, reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
remain an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element in examinations and for grades. Replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with other modes of learning, means putting the kids quite away from the curriculum, which is the basis of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and positions.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
give a detailed insight into various complex procedures and cycles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their studies remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Although,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
tools are making more room in schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
cannot be completely replaced by them.
For example
, the Cambridge university has maintained the formal paper based learning tools side by side the online methods.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have their role in the learning process of the children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ultimate significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
cannot
be overruled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the parents and teachers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
on time distribution.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places and how to increase its popularity? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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