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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occuring? Do you think changes are positive or negative? v.9

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occuring? Do you think changes are positive or negative? v. 9
At present, the roles of family and the structure of the family has shifted. In the past, family members followed the customs of ancient people, but now, the members of a family has completely inverted the old attitude whether how many people would be to consist of the family, or, whether which work should be done by males and females. From my perspective, it is a positive outlook of modern people who believe in changes. To begin with, most of the population preferred extended family, while these days, nuclear family, consists of parents and two children, is the most popular. In fact, in the past, three or four generations lived together under one roof, and could help one another. However, the tendency of myriads of people is to construct a small family where women will get the chance to pursue their career, which may, eventually, help them to contribute in the cost of their families. What is more, parents and grandparents used to live together. As a result, grandparents, for example, had a chance to play with their grandchildren. In the modern world, asylum or countryside is the resident of the majority of grandparents. Strikingly, a positive notion spread, since people live with limited family members. The first good sign is that women have got the opportunity to work outside and to earn money, whereas fathers have changed their responsibilities regarding works which are now confined within domestic activities. Secondly, the modern view is that if family structure is limited, the responsibility of saving increases geometrically. In Bangladesh, for instance, the nuclear family is quite wealthy in lieu of extended family. This is because parents rush to job, leaving their children in the care of child care centres. Consequently, they earn a lot rather than spending. In conclusion, the family features and roles have been transformed over the years. A huge family is split into a family with 3/4 members where females are going outside for earning purposes. Certainly, in my opinion, these changes are considered as a positive one, which soars the income, and males, somehow, get the new environs.
At present, the roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and the structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has shifted. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
followed the customs of ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has completely inverted the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
attitude whether how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be to consist of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, or, whether which work should
be done
by males and females. From my perspective, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outlook of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most of the population preferred extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, while these days, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, consists of parents and two children, is the most popular. In fact, in the past, three or four generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
together under one roof, and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one another.
However
, the tendency of myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is to construct a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
where women will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to pursue their career, which may,
eventually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to contribute in the cost of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
What is more
, parents and grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together.
As a result
, grandparents,
for example
, had a chance to play with their grandchildren. In the modern world, asylum or countryside is the resident of the majority of grandparents.

Strikingly
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
notion spread, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. The
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
is that women have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the opportunity to work outside and to earn money, whereas fathers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their responsibilities regarding works which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
confined within domestic activities.
Secondly
, the modern view is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure
is limited
, the responsibility of saving increases
geometrically
. In Bangladesh,
for instance
, the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is quite wealthy in lieu of extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents rush to job, leaving their children in the care of child care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Consequently
, they earn a lot
rather
than spending.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
features and roles have
been transformed
over the years. A huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is split
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with 3/4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
where females are going outside for earning purposes.
Certainly
, in my opinion, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one, which soars the income, and males, somehow,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the new environs.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occuring? Do you think changes are positive or negative? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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