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As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.4

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. with this statement? v. 4
There is no doubt that these days transport and community are widespread which reaching people to globalization phenomenon. The question is, should nations worry about their traditional culture because of this increasing? In this essay I am going to discuss my own opinion and draw my conclusion. In terms of the positive side, transporting is what makes people likely to be socialist. The main reason given to support this claim is that whenever people visit public places, they communicate with each others even if they were strangers completely. To illustrate, going to school by a bus will let you chat to one person at least. In other words, people cannot be quite for a long time, especially in public transporting which grows globalization. However, on the other Hand, nations now are more afraid of losing old cultures which is a part of themselves. First of all, culture’s people are extending as time goes by. Put differently, according to USA research, figure of explorers is increasing significantly by who’s visiting historic museums. Secondly, everyone becomes interested in future stuff such as technology in many various ways. This is not because old habits have gone from the world. But, they are interested to a new mode of the trend. Thus, cultural identity will last. In conclusion, it is evident that globalization leading identity's culture to the end. Therefore, I believe that grandparents are a reason of teaching about culture to their children. Grandparents must ensure steps are taken to prevent this phenomenon from deteriorating further.
There is no doubt that these days transport and community are widespread which reaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to globalization phenomenon. The question is, should nations worry about their traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
because of this
increasing? In this essay I am going to discuss my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and draw my conclusion.

In terms of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, transporting is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
likely to be socialist. The main reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to support this claim is that whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit public places, they communicate with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
even if they were strangers completely. To illustrate, going to school by a bus will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you chat to one person at least.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot be quite for a long time,
especially
in public transporting which grows globalization.

However
,
on the other Hand
, nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are more afraid of losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which is a part of themselves.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are extending as time goes by. Put
differently
, according to USA research, figure of explorers is increasing
significantly
by
Did you mean "whose"?
who’s
visiting historic museums.
Secondly
, everyone becomes interested in future stuff such as technology in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various ways. This is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
habits have gone from the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they
are interested
to a new mode of the trend.
Thus
, cultural identity will last.

In conclusion
, it is evident that globalization leading identity's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Therefore
, I believe that grandparents are a reason of teaching about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to their children. Grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure steps
are taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this phenomenon from deteriorating
further
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. with this statement? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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