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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v.3

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 3
Nowadays the concept of family has extremely changed compared to the past as well as the roles in a family. The prototype of the common family, we were used to think about does not exist anymore and there are different kinds of family since modern times needed an evolution of society. Families are not composed by a woman and a man with children anymore, but also homosexual couples are considered a family as well as blended families, for example. Overall, I personally believe that most of the changes occurring are positive and they are the mirror of modern society. In the past, usually only men were used to work, while many women were housewives taking care of their home and babies, but nowadays everything changed and both men and women can have a successful career and be husband and wife at the same time. However, these changes lead to re-set up the roles in the family. Thus, it is not the woman’s duty anymore to work at home, but it is now a family duty. This is an important achievement for women’s rights, I believe. As roles, also the structure of a family evolved and the introduction of divorce, which led to the increase of blended families as well as the gay marriage contributed on it. It has also to be considered the practice of adoption as a significant change in a family, which contributed to expand the ancient meaning of family. To sum up, it is clear that, in recent years, the family structure and roles have changed and adapted to modern times, which contributed to open people’s mind to different views of family life.
Nowadays the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
compared to the past
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The prototype of the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about does not exist anymore and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
since modern times needed an evolution of society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
are not composed by a woman and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
with children anymore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
homosexual couples
are considered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
as blended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
for example
.

Overall
, I
personally
believe that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurring are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
positive and
they are the mirror of modern society.

In the past,
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
women were housewives taking care of their home and babies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women can have a successful career and be husband and wife at the same time.
However
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
lead to re-set up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Thus
, it is not the woman’s duty anymore to work at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
duty. This is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
achievement for women’s rights, I believe.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
,
also
the structure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
evolved and the introduction of divorce, which led to the increase of blended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as well
as the gay marriage contributed on it.

It has
also
to
be considered
the practice of adoption as a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which contributed to expand the ancient meaning of family.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, in recent years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and adapted to modern times, which contributed to open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s mind to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 3

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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