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support. Although being portable and convenient, this type of cane is unstable under certain situations and may cause v.1

support. Although being portable and convenient, this type of cane is unstable under certain situations and may cause v. 1
It is considered the better the performance of athletes, the more interesting and exciting the game. However, in order to deliver a good performance, sportsmen require monetary support. Therefore, I disagree with the argument that governments should cut down their investments in sport. In this essay the importance of government funding in national sports clubs is highlighted. To begin with, every single country wants to prove that they are the best in the world. There are multiple ways to prove this and sport is one of them. Each year various international competitions take place around the globe. America is the unbeaten leader in many of these events and it is not surprising. Annual government reports show that the US investments in its sports clubs are one of the highest. By contrast, African government spends just over 10% of their budget on sport. This fact easily explains why America outperforms most other countries in sports. Moving further, success in international games unites a nation. For instance, when the Brazilian soccer team won the gold at the recent Olympic Games in Rio, the entire nation celebrated the success for almost three days. People became very proud of their nation. These victories increase national pride and tilt public opinion in favour of the country and its government. People forget other shortcomings of their nation. To recapitulate, sport has the power to unite people. When a country loses in international competitions it harms the morale of its people. Therefore, I strongly believe that governments should provide funding to sports clubs and athletes.
It
is considered
the better the performance of athletes, the more interesting and exciting the game.
However
, in order to deliver a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance, sportsmen require monetary support.
Therefore
, I disagree with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down their investments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. In this essay the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding in national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs
is highlighted
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
wants to prove that they are the best in the world. There are multiple ways to prove this and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is one of them. Each year various international competitions take place around the globe. America is the unbeaten leader in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and it is not surprising. Annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
reports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the US investments in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs are one of the highest. By contrast, African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10% of their budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. This fact
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why America outperforms most other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in sports.

Moving
further
, success in international games unites a nation.
For instance
, when the Brazilian soccer team won the gold at the recent Olympic Games in Rio, the entire nation celebrated the success for almost three days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud of their nation. These victories increase national pride and tilt public opinion in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
forget other shortcomings of their nation.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has the power to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
loses in international competitions it harms the morale of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide funding to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
clubs and athletes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay support. Although being portable and convenient, this type of cane is unstable under certain situations and may cause v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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