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Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. v.2

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. v. 2
Big cities around the globe are increasingly suffering from their quality of life. This is due to two main factors arousing pollution and high-density population. However, those can be faced by developing outskirts areas and by using eco-friendly solutions. Air contamination has become a major problem for all big capitals. In a city like Hong Kong, because of the massive numbers of cars runs on streets they raised exhaust fumes over the safe average by 200%. As a result, people who live there cannot have fresh air to breathe, so they get more affected by lung disease, heart attack, and it may lead to end their death. Another issue is the arising number of individuals how's living in megacities. People on today world wants to reside near work, they do not want to relocate themselves. Which led to building skyscrapers and large building in a small area, so a great pressure had been put on the public services. That is why a city like London always suffer from its sewer system, and they try to expand it every year. On the other hand, there are many approaches we can take to tackle both problems. Firstly, governments have to start developing their inhabitant lands such as desserts, outskirts, and rural areas. Also, by establishing new cities, and encouraging people to move there. Secondly, we have to reduce our carbon footprint. By using smart cars, which runs on battery, not by fuel this will definitely help us to reduce CO2 for our air. In conclusion, while our world facing a dramatically decreasing in quality of life due to population and exhaust fumes. There are always solutions whether we can develop our far areas or by using advanced technology to reduce our needs to fuel.
Big
cities
around the globe are
increasingly
suffering from their quality of life. This is due to two main factors arousing pollution and high-density population.
However
, those can
be faced
by developing outskirts
areas
and by using eco-friendly solutions.

Air contamination has become a major problem for all
big
capitals. In a city like Hong Kong,
because
of the massive numbers of cars runs on streets they raised exhaust fumes over the safe average by 200%.
As a result
,
people
who
live
there cannot have fresh air to breathe,
so
they
get
more
affected
by lung disease, heart attack, and it may lead to
end
their death. Another issue is the arising number of individuals how's living in
megacities
.
People
on
today
world wants to reside near work, they do not want to relocate themselves. Which led to building skyscrapers and large building in a
small
area
,
so
a great pressure had
been put
on the public services.
That is
why a city like London always suffer from its sewer system, and they try to expand it every year.

On the other hand
, there are
many
approaches we can take to tackle both problems.
Firstly
,
governments
have to
start
developing their inhabitant lands such as desserts, outskirts, and rural
areas
.
Also
, by establishing new
cities
, and encouraging
people
to
move
there.
Secondly
, we
have to
reduce
our carbon footprint. By using smart cars, which runs on battery, not by fuel this will definitely
help
us to
reduce
CO2 for our air.

In conclusion
, while our world facing a
dramatically
decreasing in quality of life due to population and exhaust fumes. There are always solutions whether we can develop our far
areas
or by using advanced technology to
reduce
our needs to fuel.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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