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In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative? v.4

In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative? v. 4
An important change from the last years is about the family structure, the role of each member is going to transform, little by little. Probably, the main change needed is about the figure of the wife/mother as well as the one of the husband/father and, in my opinion, the different way we look at them now is going towards a positive result. The need for change is related to the transformations of the society. Nowadays, the life has become faster than before, and this is why a family with a rigid structure is not able to adapt to extra events as well as a family with flexible roles is able to. For example, if forty years ago a mum could look after all her children without any problem, now things are a bit more complex. Children, in fact, have not only to go to school, but they are involved in many other activities that a mother alone cannot manage. This is why the father has to help her. Besides, if taking care of the kids has become more complex, also taking care of the house has more difficulties. In fact, there are a lot of things to think about that one person alone cannot to. Then, if the parents both work, family affairs are becoming more complex too. For example, children have to know how to take care of the house when their parents are not there and also, they have to help looking after the younger brothers or sisters. To sum up, changes in the family structure are strongly necessary, it is important to be flexible and in particular we have to see the roles of the parents under a different light. All the transformations will lead us towards a better family system.
An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
from the last years is about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure, the role of each member is going to transform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.
Probably
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
needed is about the figure of the wife/mother
as well
as the one of the husband/father and, in my opinion, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way we look at them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is going towards a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result.

The need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is related
to the transformations of the society. Nowadays, the life has become faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and this is why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with a rigid structure is not able to adapt to extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as well
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with flexible roles is able to.
For example
, if forty years ago a mum could look
after all
her children without any problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
things are a bit more complex. Children, in fact, have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to go to school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other activities that a mother alone cannot manage. This is why the father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her.

Besides
, if taking care of the kids has become more complex,
also
taking care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has more difficulties. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about that one person alone cannot to. Then, if the parents both work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
affairs are becoming more complex too.
For example
, children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know how to take care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
when their parents are not there and
also
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to look" or "look".
looking
after the younger brothers or sisters.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure are
strongly
necessary, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be flexible and
in particular
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the roles of the parents under a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
light. All the transformations will lead us towards a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
system.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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