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Some people feel that boarding schools (where student or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of the debate and reach a conclusion. v.1

Some people feel that boarding schools (where student or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of the debate and reach a conclusion. v. 1
Many people consider that it has a lot of benefits to send their children to residential schools. On the contrary, some refuse it and argue that there are many constraints to children to study and live in a dormitory. In this essay, it will be discussed both sides of the argument and give a conclusion. In recent years, amount of families that send their children to private schools, especially boarding schools on the basis of numerous benefits, is increasing. Since there is more persistent and well-equipped study environment, students can fully concentrate on their learning and they can get into excellent education. In addition, they would be co-educated and getting motivated to study hard from each other in a result of staying together for all the time. In other words, it will develop the team-working and collaborative ability during their term. Besides, students that live in a dormitory or far from their homes, will be getting more independent, self-reliant, and confident than others that go to day-schools. As a result, children can be prepared for university life as earlier. On the other hand, it is possible to be disadvantageous to send children to boarding school. Children cannot get their parents’ care and cut off the rest social environment. It can particularly cause to homesickness and the impression that abandoned from the families of primary school aged children. Moreover, some student even may learn some bad habits from each other during they are living together and spending their spare time together without their parental control. To illustrate, nowadays video games on computer and smart phones are getting more popular and boys play it together a lot in their spare time, which would cause to an addiction and affect to worsen that student’s learning performance. Finally, it appeared that here are few certain reasons to choose schools that offer boarding if people decide to send their children to private schools, including a higher quality of education, independence, self-confidence and preparation for university life if people can explain and convince properly to their children about reason and benefits and their care.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refuse it and argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
constraints to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a dormitory. In this essay, it will
be discussed
both sides of the argument and give a conclusion.

In recent years, amount of families that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
especially
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
on the basis of numerous benefits, is increasing. Since there is more persistent and well-equipped study environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
fully
concentrate on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
learning and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into excellent education.
In addition
, they would be co-educated and getting motivated to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a result of staying together for all the time. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it will develop the team-working and collaborative ability during their term.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a dormitory or far from their homes, will be getting more independent, self-reliant, and confident than others that go to day-schools.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be prepared
for university life as earlier.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is possible to be disadvantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their parents’ care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off the rest social environment. It can
particularly
cause to homesickness and the impression that abandoned from the families of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "students"?
student
even may learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
during they are living together and spending their spare time together without their parental control. To illustrate, nowadays video games on computer and smart phones are getting more popular and boys play it together a lot in their spare time, which would cause to an addiction and affect to worsen that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
learning performance.

Finally
, it appeared that here are few certain reasons to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that offer boarding if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, including a higher quality of education, independence, self-confidence and preparation for university life if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and convince
properly
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about reason and benefits and their care.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people feel that boarding schools (where student or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of the debate and reach a conclusion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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