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In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. v.14

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. v. 14
It is certainly true that traffic in most of the major cities in every country is really a problem due to more and more exclusive cars are used. So, some of the states schemed that in order to lessen private cars on the roads, car owners should pay more taxes. Countries administration thinks that this not only solves the problem but also, it will improve the public transportation. However, as every solution that will be imposing, benefits and drawbacks will always be there as I will now be discussed. On one hand, tax imposition to owners of private cars will benefit the public conveniently and safely. As more money was collected, more funds for the improvement of transportation. For instance, in Singapore, their government strictly implemented a blue badge card as a form of tax for private vehicles to pass to their major cities such as Changi, Sentosa and China Town. As a result, more government trains and inter-city buses were built and utilise by most of the Singaporeans. Also, a city-wide network has been made to collect information and charge drivers if they have any violations. This means safety for the people of the lion country. On the other hand, though such solution is successful to the people of Singapore, it is a failure to some countries that leads to more hostility of the people. For example, when the local government of Cambridge, England, considering Singaporean techniques, it faced vocal and ultimately successful opposition. People of England showed their anger to their government through their social networking sites and even rallied on the Cambridgeshire road to express their disagreement. In conclusion, I think that imposition of the tax to car owners is not the only solution to problems on the road. There are other considerations as well, perhaps building a sky railways and subways. I believe these two are better than just collecting fines to one sector of the public.
It is
certainly
true that traffic in most of the major cities in every country is
really
a problem due to more and more exclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
states schemed that in order to lessen private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners should pay more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. Countries administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solves the problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the public transportation.
However
, as every solution that will be imposing, benefits and drawbacks will always be there as I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be discussed
.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
imposition to owners of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will benefit the public
conveniently
and
safely
. As more money
was collected
, more funds for the improvement of transportation.
For instance
, in Singapore, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
strictly
implemented a blue badge card as a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for private vehicles to pass to their major cities such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Changi
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sentosa
and China Town.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
trains and inter-city buses
were built
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
by most of the Singaporeans.
Also
, a city-wide network has
been made
to collect information and charge drivers if they have any violations. This means safety for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the lion country.

On the other hand
, though such solution is successful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Singapore, it is a failure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries that leads to more hostility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, when the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Cambridge, England, considering Singaporean techniques, it faced vocal and
ultimately
successful opposition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of England
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their anger to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
through their social networking sites and even rallied on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cambridgeshire
road to express their disagreement.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that imposition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to problems on the road. There are other considerations
as well
, perhaps building a sky railways and subways. I believe these two are better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
collecting fines to one sector of the public.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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